Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts

Friday, May 10, 2024

AND STILL THEY RISE


Amelia Earhart said that courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.   We are living in trying times for women in America and beyond our shores. As these novels written by and largely about the inner lives of women attest, that has pretty much always been the case.



American Spy by Lauren Wilkerson - Someone breaks into Marie Mitchell’s home to kill her. She thwarts the attack and goes on the run. The rest of the story details what led to this situation. Most of the text is what Marie writes to her twin sons while absent because she has one more dangerous mission to complete. In case she doesn't survive, she wants to explain her actions and choices.

Although a work of fiction, there are characters from real life featured. Most notably, Thomas Sankara who is known as "Africa's Che Guevara”. He is the father of Marie's sons, and she is tasked with setting him up on behalf of the US government. Nearly everyone in this book is practicing the art of deceit. Marie is constantly being manipulated while directed to manipulate others. It's what she signed up for, although prior to receiving this assignment she was underutilized and underappreciated by the FBI. But she is the right race and gender and level of attractiveness to be put on the case of bringing Sankara down. He is one of the few people in this story who isn't lying with every other word he says. His intentions in many respects are noble, so readers along with Marie wonder if her allegiance is to the right side.

 ~~~

The Paris Bookseller by Kerri Maher - Historical fiction centered on the life of Sylvia Beach who in 1919 founded Shakespeare and Company bookstore. She is surrounded by creatives who felt stifled by the conservative attitudes of America and so came to Paris to live their best lives and produce their best art. While Prohibition was taking place in America, artists freely expressed themselves in France. Sylvia is also free to love the woman she loves.

Her decision to publish James Joyce's Ulysses in 1922 drives the story. Considered obscene by those who couldn't look past the strong language to appreciate the novelty and beauty of its prose, Ulysses needed someone brave and resourceful enough to bring it to the light of day. By publishing the only title under the bookstore's imprint, the course of literary history was altered. Readers have a window seat view of this artistically influential period.

 ~~~

Tumbling by Diane McKinney-Whetstone – Herbie and Noon’s marriage is not consummated due to a dark secret, a brutal attack in Noon's past. She escapes her demons through church. Herbie does likewise in nightclubs and in the arms of another woman, when she's around and will have him.  Ethel fulfills Herbie’s physical needs if not necessarily his emotional ones.

The couple comes to raise two daughters just months apart in age who are left on their doorstep - Fannie as an infant and Liz later at the age of 5. Mysteries are unraveled throughout the narrative taking place in Philadelphia during the 1940's and 50's. Struggles are endured, mostly because of secrets and lies and maintained silences. Readers pull for them to remain together when fate seems determined to tear their world apart.

 ~~~

Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward - A motherless girl in Louisiana with a mostly absent father lets the local boys take what they please from her until she meets one that she wants something back from. Esch is a lone young woman in a world of males, and it is through her eyes that we pass idle time waiting, watching, remembering, wishing for what is plain will not be, settling for whatever she is able to grab hold of. Pregnant at the age of fourteen, she does not get placed on a pedestal like her brother's prized dog. But like China she can nurture when called upon, is ready to fight tooth and nail for survival when necessary.

Esch aches with desire, is burdened by a stifling sense of loss, yearns to be loved. Prior to the arrival of Hurricane Katrina, the book’s pace covering twelve days is slow and steady. We wait with her for the inevitable devastation.

~~~

The White Woman on the Green Bicycle by Monique Roffey – Trinidadians’ struggle for independence from the authority of Europeans is backdrop to the story of a rocky marriage. In this book’s first section, the title character incessantly complains about her situation. Even though her husband is no saint, initially he is the more tolerable of the two. He's an alcoholic and a serial adulterer, one who in his older years does not bother to have mistresses but settles for prostitutes. But we also see decency in his dealings with people and root for his efforts to atone and win back his wife's affections.

We are brought back in time for the second section to when they first arrive in Trinidad. They are more vibrant, seem to be deep in love with each other, open to giving things a chance. But while the husband is happy to be where he knows he can enjoy a successful career, his wife sees island life as a temporary necessity to experience, and then to endure until their return to England. She is led to believe that there is an exit strategy. He is hoping that she will come around in time, until he ceases to care. Rum and women and professional achievement and growing wealth help him to deal with a wife who hates where she is yet will not or cannot leave. Time passes and revolution is in the air. If the Trinidadians achieve the freedom they long for, perhaps she will get what she passively desires. The book draws to a close as the day of her personal emancipation seemingly draws near. We know it is a mirage because we have already learned that Trinidad will not loosen its grip on them.

~~~ 

New World Monkeys by Nancy Mauro –A married Manhattanite couple has reached a rocky patch, but they’re not saying much about it. When Lily inherits a house in upstate New York, it’s as an excuse to move there for the summer while working on her obscure dissertation, never mind that the small town's library is insufficient. Duncan balances his stressful advertising job with trips upstate to spend weekends Lily. They're separated, but not officially; married but no longer truly intimate; perhaps still in love but neither one certain of how to express it.

The change of scenery brings various quirky characters into their unsettled lives and immediately puts blood on their hands, that of a not so wild boar which turns out to be the town mascot. Duncan has a jeans campaign that he's in charge of as distraction. The local Peeping Tom shows Lily the ropes as diversion. Together the couple finds a mystery to literally unearth in the form of a scattered skeleton buried in their garden while figuring out if they've reached the end of their road, or merely a slippery turning point.

 ~~~

Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates – A thoroughly researched work of fiction about things that really happened (mixed with conjecture) in the life of a very well-known person. Her meteoric rise to Hollywood stardom as well as her tragic early death makes for irresistible subject matter. Her romantic life includes high profile marriages to Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller plus a dalliance towards the end of her days with President Kennedy.

The book begins when Norma Jean is a baby and closes with dramatization of her final breaths. Mostly written from first person point of view, Marilyn's thoughts, hopes, and dreams are revealed. What we see is a woman who led a glamorous existence, had many lovers but not nearly enough love, was on a lifelong search for the father she never knew, and on a quest to earn her mother's love. While the world viewed her as a blonde bombshell to adore, she saw herself as an artist trying to master her craft while exploited by Hollywood power brokers. Her unfulfilled desire to have and raise children meant that a fairy tale ending kept eluding her. Being the most desired woman in the world would be consolation prize. She had it all, including an abundance of insecurity and loneliness. When the spotlight was on, she dazzled. When it was off, the character of Marilyn Monroe was put away and the reality of being Norman Jean was her burden to bear.

 ~~~

Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat – A tale about mothers and daughters and the pain they bring one another. The setting is divided between Haiti and America as well as between childhood and adulthood for the main character - Sophie. It starts off in Haiti where she is being raised by her aunt, left behind while her mother establishes a new life in New York. In her teen years the time arrives for Sophie to be reunited with her mother.

It isn't until she gets to New York that significant male characters are introduced. One is her mother's boyfriend. The other is a musician who lives next door when he isn't on the road. Joseph is closer in age to Sophie's mother. Staunch refusal to allow any man to ruin her daughter's purity drives a wedge between them. Sophie and her mother are no longer far apart physically, but distant emotionally. Patriarchy extending beyond Haiti results in cruelty imposed by women upon girls in their care to keep them worthy for male suitors. Sophie chooses to marry someone who seems to be a good man, breaking a family pattern. She is willing to attend therapy sessions in the hope that her husband's wait for physical intimacy need not be indefinite.

 ~~~

The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri – A story of family, a construct supposedly bonded by blood, but more so by love and willingly made sacrifice. Gauri marries the love of her life, loses the charismatic and impulsive Udayan to political violence, and then marries his younger brother while carrying the child of the man she lost. Even though she is willing to make a new life with Subhash, he remains to her the lesser of the two brothers. Since the daughter they raise without revealing true paternal roots is a potent reminder of Udayan, Gauri never comes to love her daughter as you would expect a mother to do.

Leaving a country behind does little to erase memories and allow a new chance for happiness. Whether it's in the lowland of Calcutta or a college town in Rhode Island, when a ghost is more real to you than the people in your home, the only possible existence is a haunted one.

 ~~~

The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett –A woman struggles to learn who she truly is, which starts out by embarking on a journey to discover who her deceased husband was. Sabine's husband has just died. His lover Phan died of AIDS not long before, which informs us that Sabine was married to a gay man - the magician whom she assisted. She then learns that her husband was not an orphan bereft of any family other than her and Phan as she had thought. His mother and two sisters plus a couple nephews are alive and well. To them his name was Guy. Parsifal's greatest magic trick was reinvention of himself.

The first version is a boy growing up in Nebraska, dreaming of being anyplace else. The second version is a man (with a wife as well as a male partner) who has found that place in Los Angeles, performing magic shows for the joy of it and selling antique rugs as his main source of income. The only answer we receive regarding why Sabine was willing to marry him is that she loved him and failed to find anyone else who made her feel the same way. When she learns that Parsifal had been lying to her, she throws herself into solving the mystery of his life. By getting to know the people who share his blood, Sabine hopes to move on from torturous mourning towards a potential new form of happiness.



XXXXX

Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there!






FAREWELL SAM

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

We Will Just Have To Agree To Disagree



Social media has taught me that plenty of people hold strong opinions that I consider to be quite bone headed, and the reverse is equally valid.  Below is a Top Ten Eleven Twelve list of issues where others are in disagreement with how I see the world.  That said, I respect your opinions, all the more so if we engage in debate and you handle your end in a respectful manner.  I try my best to be mature when taking my stances and I forgive you for being wrong.   



* N word usage: I'm not in favor of it being said by anybody. It's firmly entrenched in our culture as a hateful insult and I do not believe the misguided attempt to claim the word for ourselves (primarily by ending it with "a" rather than "er") has been successful in removing its sting.  Otherwise nobody would get upset when a non-black person said it.  It can't be denied that the N-word has successfully ingrained itself into black culture though.  African Americans, particularly under a certain age or under a certain degree of educational achievement, will continue to use it.  They won't mean any harm.  It's like a cigarette habit, mostly self inflicted damage with some second hand smoke level injury.  I believe that to be respected by others it is important to show you respect yourself.  Referring to yourself by a derogatory term is not what Queen Aretha was referring to as R-E-S-P-E-C-T.


* Feminism needs to be broken down into race categories?: My Twitter mentions blew up the other day on account of this question.  I carelessly RT'd someone who said something that seemed sensible to me and BOOM went the dynamite. Look, I get that people from different cultures have different struggles.  A hardship that applies to a black woman's day-to-day may not impact a White or Asian or Latina woman in the same way, and vice versa.  But certainly there are a sufficient number of issues that are woman based, regardless of race/skin tone/religion, for Feminism to serve as an umbrella cause covering women in general. To say that feminism is strictly for white women seems very short sighted to me, though I have no doubt there are white feminists who give little thought to certain matters that only tend to affect a woman of color.  Even so, women of all backgrounds have many shared hardships.  They deal equally with sexual harassment in the workplace; catcalling on the street; lower pay for equal work; less representation in top corporate positions, needing access to birth control; considering abortion to be a personal choice over one's own body rather than a decision handed down by politicians; breastfeeding shaming; slut shaming; body image shaming; possibly having to choose between motherhood and career in inflexible workplaces; etc. etc.  So with all of this being shared, I don't believe the differences that exist are enough to disqualify feminism from catering to womankind overall.  There is more than sufficient common ground. And there is strength in numbers.  Why shrink the volume of your collective voice?  One doesn't even need to be a woman to be a feminist.  If you're a man who happens to have a mother/sister/daughter/girlfriend/wife/ or friends of opposite sex then you should consider being a feminist too, regardless of your race. I do wholeheartedly agree with KimberlĂ© Crenshaw that various forms of inequality often operate together and exacerbate each other, so if you happen to be a member of two or more marginalized groups, multiple social justice movements in concert rather than a single one may need to be applied. In other words, you can be impacted on account of being a woman, or due to being Black, or because as a Black woman you are both. Lastly, agreeing with someone who has a similar view of feminism (or anything else for that matter) is not "caping" for them, not protecting them from big, bad bullies.  It's just agreeing with them.


* Hashtivism / Semantics / Which Lives Matter?: I believe that activism by hashtag has led to oversimplification of what it means to be supportive of a cause.  Inclusiveness seems to have become a vulgar concept.  Consider what I just said about feminism.  Yes it's true that certain issues pertain to people of one race more than another, but that doesn't mean we can't still be in the fight together.  Yes, there are issues being brought up about mistreated black lives that have caused people to proclaim that "Black Lives Matter".  I repeat, #BlackLivesMatter, for of course they do.  Do all of the other racial categories of lives matter as well?  Of course they do.  Granted, when we're specifically talking about black lives we should try to stay on topic.  We can talk about the struggles of Native Americans and Eskimos some other time. It's not as if we insist that the NRA talk about knives or that anti-smoking people discuss the perils of trans fat in fast food. A special interest group is allowed to focus on a particular topic and the specific people affected. That's fair, right?  But if someone does happen to say ALL rather than black, there is no need to assume that the speaker is saying black lives DO NOT matter.  Saying ALL does not mean that issues of particular importance to African Americans are being ignored.  It simply means that all people are created equal, we all have the same inalienable rights, so in situations where a particular group is getting the shaft, that's a problem in need of remedy.  When asked about a specific racial injustice if somebody chooses to wave it off as unimportant, then we can conclude that their definition of ALL is more limited than it should be.


* Police: We need significant revamping of the screening/training/sanity maintaining of police officers in departments throughout the USA. I do not believe all cops by nature are evil.  I do not believe all white cops are racist. I do believe that cops who walk a beat have stress inducing jobs that can sometimes lead to hair trigger overreaction. There are plenty of cops who need to be weeded out as they are unfit for the duty of protecting and serving everybody equally.  There are plenty of officers who act decently 99 days out of 100 who may screw up royally under pressure on the exception day.  Hopefully the result won't be the needless loss of a life.  We can't allow the police to police themselves for they have shown inclination to protect their own over making sure that justice is served.  Bad apples must be tossed out before they spoil the bunch.  But not every cop is a bad one, and not every situation that arises and makes the news is the result of a cop gone wild.  Sometimes the one being arrested is the bad guy as it is supposed to be.  We need cops to do their job properly, and more often than not, that's what they do.  The success stories don't get much press, only the incidents where something goes horribly wrong.


* Cultural appropriation: People copy aspects of ethnic cultures other than the one they were born into from time to time.  This is not a federal crime, nor is every single example equivalent to black face.  Cultural borrowing, typically temporary, can go in any direction.  It isn't a one way street of whites ripping everybody else off.  Every couple months it seems a new celebrity is being accused of underhanded cultural appropriation. Miley Cyrus was the focus of ire for awhile.  Iggy Azalea is a white woman from Australia who somehow sounds like a black woman from Georgia when she raps.  This is certainly peculiar and clearly a calculated decision on her part to capitalize on a certain sound that isn't native to her.  But it doesn't mean she is the enemy of blacks, including the black guy she agreed to marry.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  So if Kylie Jenner wears her hair in cornrows for a day or two it's not like she's leading a lynch mob, she's just a girl trying on a different look for size.  If you agree with me here but draw the line at Rachel Dolezal, I can't say that I blame you.  Rachel went several enormous steps too far by making a conscious effort to pass for black and somehow managing to take her masquerade all the way to heading a chapter of the NAACP.  Had she stopped short of the NAACP I probably would have just shrugged, but apparently Rachel is not the sort of person who does anything halfway.  Yet I'm not pissed off at her and I don't feel she did much harm to anyone other than herself once secrets were revealed.  We got some good laughs at her expense.  We should now be able to move on.


* Interracial relationships: They happen. In every variety of way. With celebrities and with everybody else.  It's not a trend and isn't going anywhere.  So get over it. Being involved with somebody of a different race is not proof of self loathing.  One does not abandon what they were born by being involved with someone of another race.  Just as people can walk and chew gun at the same time, they can be themselves while loving another.  If you're not in the relationship it's none of your business.  If I'm not in it, it's none of mine.




* Privilege: Yep, white people in the USA have it.  Especially the males.  Most especially those who aren't broke.  This isn't the only kind of privilege of course.  Things are set up more for the convenience of right handed people than lefties.  Able bodied people are in a better situation than handicapped.  Tall and skinny usually works out better for a person than short and tubby.  Being considered attractive comes with perks that being considered NOT does not.  Whichever of these and other privileges you may be in possession of, chances are that you didn't have much choice in the matter.  As for categories where you got the short end of the stick, c'est la vie.  Deal with whatever it is you need to deal with and go be great.  Nothing is stopping you except maybe for you.  Privilege is just there chilling, not caring how much of it you ended up with.  So stop whining about it 24/7.  Didn't you know that privilege is blind and deaf to your protestations?


* Stop declaring every belief by a black person that you disagree with to be an example of hotep/Uncle Tom'ing: People curse because they lack the vocabulary to make an intelligent argument.  The same can be said for referring to someone by an insulting term for the sin of having a different opinion than you.  This is done to an exhausting degree in the black community.  Within any other ethnicity, if one person has liberal left leaning beliefs and the other has conservative right wing beliefs, they'll disagree on a lot of issues.  They'll vote for candidates in different political parties.  When arguing over a particularly heated topic they may not like each other very much, at least temporarily.  But typically neither of them will call the other anything like an Uncle Tom or a hotep, which are terms that mean a black person is acting in a traitorous manner against his own race (see interracial relationships).  Feeling strongly one way or the other about a matter has nothing to do with racial identity for most people.  But if a black guy happens to feel that black-on-black crime is as much of a problem as police brutality, he is called an Uncle Tom.  Perhaps we'll eventually modernize that low blow to Uncle Don in honor of Don Lemon. Don receives as much name calling / abusive meme treatment as anyone these days.  Disagreement is inevitable and won't always be kept civil.  But it's possible to not agree with much of what someone such as Clarence Thomas stands for, to dislike him vehemently, yet still not pull a card having anything to do with race when expressing distaste.  Consider him to be a jerk. State that you think he's dead wrong. Leave it at that.  As Chris Rock once said, I have some things I'm liberal about and some things I'm conservative about.  Most grown-ups feel similarly, even if in their younger days it tended to be all one or the other. It's not a matter of jumping back and forth between being conscious and being a so called hotep.  It's simply a matter of being a complex human being who judges situations on a case by case basis.


* Black Twitter: It's not actually a real thing:  Neither is Black facebook, black instagram, etc.  There was (maybe still is) a Black Planet, I'll grant you that.  Social media is one for all and all for one.  There are plenty of black people on Twitter.  Among them I don't believe there is 100% consensus on anything.  The LA Times has put a writer on the case, think pieces are written on a monthly basis, books are in the works, all about Black Twitter.  One may as well write about Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, visiting space aliens, and mermaids.  They all make for fascinating stories but nothing can be proven so it must be considered fiction.  I'm black. I have a Twitter account.  Does that make me a member of Black Twitter?  Not necessarily, as apparently not every black person tweeting is in the club.  Also, I've read you can be in Black Twitter without even being black.  I wonder if Rachel Dolezal was in Black Twitter before being outed.  Do I have to hold certain beliefs to be in Black Twitter, 100% compliance to whatever the rules of engagement are?  If so, where are the guidelines?  Hidden like stations of the Underground Railroad?  I doubt it.  Have I forever disqualified myself from Black Twitter membership by writing this blog post? Surely it goes against several core BT principles?  Or maybe it doesn't.  I have no idea because I have no idea what Black Twitter is exactly, no clue what it represents, and neither does nobody else no matter how much they've written about it and swear they know the deal.  Black Twitter is the ghost in the attic, the fairy in your garden, the angel on your shoulder.  Nobody can get a picture of it but they swear it's real.  It's not. Until someone registers BlackTwitter.com - it's nothing more than a phrase that people use to pigeonhole. One more completely unnecessary label.


* Racial identity is a definitive deal: This is a tough one deserving of a post unto itself rather. In fact, I may have made the attempt once or twice already at minimum. Unlike the above topics, I haven’t come up with a hard and fast rule yet. I am still open to being swayed in one direction or another. Bi/Multiracial people confuse the issue through no fault of their own, simply by existing. Using the least complicated formula, if a person is 50% Black and 50% Other, then what are they? Black? Other? Mixed seems most accurate, but we are a visual society. And we’re also in a self-identification era. If it is evident to an observer that someone is African American, do we decide for them that they’re Black? If it isn’t obvious at a glance, do we decide for them that they are not Black. Or do they get to decide for themself no matter what they look like? Rachel Dolezal added to the confusion in epic fashion. Zero percent Black but she identified big time to the point of fooling people for years. Despite what Ancestry.com said about her, she managed to look the part of a Black woman, aided by reinforcing behavior. Then someone pulled out a photograph of her parents and the jig was up. Many White people can tan well enough to be deemed Black per the paper bag test whether they’re trying to trick others or not. Rachel Dolezal needed far less help to sufficiently pass for Black than Zoe Saldana required to not at all convincingly pass for Nina Simone. It’s pretty crazy when you think about it that Zoe has successfully passed for blue and green, but when she tried to simply be blacker than her natural shade, collective outrage was the result. Her team clearly needed revamping because at least one person should have told her that portraying Nina Simone was a terrible idea. Never mind that she is an excellent actress, that her job description is literally pretending to be other people. In the end, identifying as Hispanic is what got her an Oscar, so she’ll probably ride that out for a while. Rather absurdly, Hailee Steinfeld caught flack in certain corners for being someone who turns out to be about 1/8 Black playing a character in the movie Sinners who is about 1/8 Black. You can’t even pretend to be what you actually are without pissing someone off these days. Perhaps if she had a much blacker sounding last name than Steinfeld, everybody would have let it go. Bottom line is that it isn’t easy being Black when we’re not quite sure what that means. We know it when we see it, except for when we don’t. We see it when we think we know it is perhaps more accurate. DNA, self-identification, societal determination, paper bag test, all or none of the above. Your guess is as good as mine. In the meantime, I’ll continue to say it loud – I’m Black (whatever that is) and I’m proud.


* Racism is a 1-way street (aka Blacks can't be racist): Hogwash. Every street runs two ways minimum, even if on some of them cars are only permitted to drive in one direction. If you (no matter what race you happen to belong to) generalize and pre-judge an entire race of people (no matter which race is the one being judged) then congratulations, you have just participated in the art of racism. We are all capable of being angels and all capable of being a-holes towards our fellow (wo)man. The more power that you personally and your race in general wields, the more harm you are capable of inflicting with it.  But even if you are relatively powerless, if writing a scathing think piece read by six people is about as much damage as you can inflict, you still don't get to be excused from having a racist mindset.




* Respectability does not equal self hate (except for when it does)
: Respectability politics affects people regardless of race (though for some reason it is most spotlighted when occurring in the Black community) because it's basically another way of referring to the generation divide. Individuals who are more mature of age, more seasoned with experienced, more laden with responsibilities, will always have a different perspective about how to dress and speak and comport themselves than those who are just starting out in adult life. For an older black person to think that a younger one wearing pants with the waistband nearly down to his knees looks ridiculous is a reasonable conclusion in my opinion. But that may be because I have lived long enough to now qualify as an older black person when standing next to a twenty-two year old. Fortunately the sagging pants era is mostly over with by the time I'm adding this paragraph in August of 2020. The fashion statement has not gone away entirely, as I saw an example just the other day. But it's no longer a dominant look, having been overtaken by other fads. By the very definition, fads come and then they go. So it's probably not worth the energy expelled to get riled up over any one fad in particular. Back in the 1990's when Bill Cosby ruled the world of network television, he branded respectability politics with great effect. Whether he was being humorous on the topic or dead serious, he was a revered authority and therefore we listened when he mocked younger people for failing to display decorum. How are you supposed to get a job when you wear those clothes and that hairstyle and speak largely in Ebonics? In some cases he had a valid point. An equally valid one would be - How dare you lecture the younger generation over matters of etiquette while being a serial rapist?! There is nothing especially respectable about being in jail as a senior citizen, not because of how you wore your pants or communicated your thoughts, but because of deplorable actions. There are other preachers of respectability politics and not all of them have ended up in jail. If given with respect, the advice of elders is worth listening to and perhaps even heeding. If spit out with derision, it will be branded as respectability politics and tuned out. Time serves as equalizer. The ones being criticized today are the ones who will do the criticizing tomorrow. World keeps spinning.












R.I.P. Sandra Bland. May the full truth be unearthed and justice prevail.


And now for some book reviews:


Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins, #1)Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I knew from the movie Saving Mr. Banks that a personality overhaul was given to Mary Poppins when Disney adapted this book into a film. She's all sweetness and light in the film, quite the hard ass in the book. She's rather vain in the book as well. I suppose I'd be vain too if I could fit furniture into a suitcase and fly by umbrella. I learned from Wikipedia that the reason so much that happens in the movie is not in the book is because there are 8 Mary Poppins books and the movie is based on events taken from the first four, plus some stuff added by Disney. I can't say that I loved this classic book that spawned the much more charming movie. I'm giving 3 stars rather than 2 because without the books, starting with this one, there is no movie.

View all my reviews

How the GarcĂ­a Girls Lost Their AccentsHow the GarcĂ­a Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is a beautifully written book. But it's one of those works of fiction that isn't really about anything in particular. Readers spend time with alternating Garcia girls in random order throughout a portion of their lives. There is no plot to speak of. The chapters are connected by the fact that one or more Garcia girl is featured in each of them, but you could read them in any order you wanted without impacting the reading experience. The chapters/scenes hold your attention in standalone fashion as well as loosely connecting with the others. I didn't grow attached to anyone in particular. I cared about what was happening when it was happening and then the book moved on to something else. How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents is a well written series of scattered moments in the lives of girls who become women who become the memory of a book you once read.

View all my reviews

The RuinsThe Ruins by Scott B. Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Seriously creepy stuff. What do you do if you and a group of friends end up on a hill in Mexico that is crawling with vines from hell. They can think, plot, see, hear, deceive, mock, physically and mentally torture, invade your body, destroy your soul before eventually, inevitably stripping your bones clean? You hold out for as long as you can in hopes that the cavalry will arrive before it's too late. If one of you happens to be an Eagle Scout, perhaps you can figure out ways to last longer than most. But no matter. It was too late the moment you took one step upon that hill. This is a dreams haunting kind of book.

View all my reviews

The GoldfinchThe Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Extraordinary. The Goldfinch is a deeply satisfying blend of gorgeous literary writing with a thriller style plot and Charles Dickens-esque range of scope. Theo Decker is a character we watch from boyhood to manhood, in peril for much of that time, in possession of a cherished gift. It's a gift meant for all people who appreciate art and beauty, not just for him, but it ends up in his hands to secretly protect and preserve. After surviving an explosion that takes his mother's life he moves through his days recklessly. As a teen in his father's careless charge he immerses himself in drugs. As an adult who has somehow managed to secure a comfortable lifestyle with the seemingly non perilous job of selling antique furniture, he is continually drawn to danger. His mindset is practically suicidal, we readers care about him more than he seems to care for himself. He is also cared for by those in his inner circle: his best friend Boris, father figure Hobie, and Pippa, the girl whom he loves from first sight but has no idea what to do about it. Theo protects a masterpiece meant to be displayed on museum walls much as he guards memories of his mother who was taken too soon. Memories never have to be surrendered, but eventually we all find ourselves needing to let go.

View all my reviews

A Wrinkle in Time (A Wrinkle in Time Quintet, #1)A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

There are Young Adult classics that dazzle no matter when in life a reader comes across them. And then there are those that one needs to be young to fully appreciate, it seems. If discovered too late in life, those in the latter category will fail to impress. I'm putting A Wrinkle in Time in that latter group. A lofty reputation preceded but when I finally got around to reading it, I simply failed to see what all the fuss is about. Yet if my theory is accurate then my daughter, who it was read aloud to, would have enjoyed it considerably more than I did. She didn't. We were both underwhelmed, though we were in agreement that it got better as it went along and we became used to the space age setting. I am dazzled by the best of science fiction because of the level of imagination required to create a new world from scratch. I would not call A Wrinkle in Time science fiction at its best. I'll stick with writers such as Philip K. Dick for that. I feel kind of bad almost that I didn't enjoy this book more than I did because I know it's such a beloved classic. A great many readers will enthusiastically recommend it to you. Take them up on it. Perhaps you will agree with them more than you do with my review, and that's fine by me.

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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Hashtag



I try to judge people (since we absolutely must judge others, right?) based on what they do rather than what they say in a handful of characters, and certainly not based on what they hashtag.  You say you're a civil rights activist...a feminist...a humanitarian (seems like that last one should incorporate the first two, no?), I say cool.  But the proof is in the pudding.  Your actions will prove or disprove it, and they will indicate the things that you are for to a greater extent than telling me what you're against.  I'll instinctively assume you're against civil wrongs, misogyny and space alien invasion.


But since I spend FAR TOO MUCH time on Twitter, activism by hashtag is what I see plenty of these days.  I'm not against the principle exactly.  For the most part it does no harm even if often does no tangible good either.  A hashtag can raise awareness of a cause.  Fine, we're aware, what now?  I ask only two things of a hashtag to consider it constructive. 1) That it not be created to blanket insult a broad group of people which includes many individuals undeserving of the insult. 2) That the name of it accurately conveys the message.  Be specific. If you want to create a hashtag about basketball don't name it #sports #sportsinvolvingaball #thingsthatmakeyousweat.  Call it #basketball.


Recently a hashtag that caught on like wildfire was #YesAllWomen.  As this article neatly summarizes, the hashtag’s purpose was to "raise awareness of the effect of misogyny and sexism in the daily life of women". So far so good.  The article goes on to shoot down any complaints men might opt to voice about the hashtag.  It lists some reasonable complaints, some less reasonable ones, and a handful of ridiculous explanations for why men might be troubled by the tone of the more outlandish proclamations.  The goofy ones are good for a laugh but not in need of addressing. But is it fair to say that a man who walks the walk of feminism by being a good husband/father/colleague/person who is a respectful friend to women, nevertheless does not qualify as an ally to the cause because he thinks many of the statements made within the #YesAllWomen hashtag go too far and paint with too broad a stroke?


Not long ago a discussion broke out on Twitter about what women happened to be wearing when they were sexually assaulted.  It was a powerful social media moment, I thought.  A hashtag was probably used for it, though I don't recall what it was.  What I do remember is the point explicitly made that rape has nothing to do with how provocatively the victim was dressed or behaving.  The only requirements for a rape to take place are the presence of a rapist and a victim.  What beyond that causes rape?  I honestly don't know. I only know that rape isn't something men do.  It's something rapists do.  There is a world of difference between the two.  I found the discussion that evening to be an effective use of social media to confront ugly truths, even it if did devolve a bit towards the end with arguments breaking out over which journalists remarked on the group conversation properly and which did not.  No reasonable person felt insulted by the exchange.  Anybody who disagreed with the central argument and believes that certain outfits cause and justify rape is a monster best to be avoided.  The stories told that night were heart breaking and eye opening.


On the other hand, when awareness raising results in people cyber yelling at each other, all sides claiming to have been misunderstood, then I'm less inclined to declare that it was a complete success.  If you need to continually clarify what your point was, repeatedly explain what it is you didn't mean because you sure as hell seem to have implied it, then in my opinion a teachable moment has gone awry.  I don't believe the purpose of #YesAllWomen is to alienate those men about whom the complaints are not applicable and in whose direction the bile is not pointed. I get that #AllMen are not the target of ire.  Still, a fair number of men (such as this one who I believe makes several valid points despite a rather weak door opening anecdote) felt that they were unfairly hit in the crossfire.  They weren't looking for credit or acknowledgment as "nice guys".  They weren't asking for a trophy because they don't habitually view and treat women like pieces of meat.  They (and I include myself among them) simply felt that things had gotten out of hand and rather than being instructive and cathartic, the hashtag had become a runaway ball of negativity that didn't care who it ran over.  "Watch out grandpa!!!"  If a substantial number of people feel a hashtag went overboard, perhaps this is something to respectfully contemplate rather than being dismissive.  When I see someone comfortable with being insulted I wonder about their motivation.  Does he not want to make trouble by standing up for himself, or is his silence admission of a guilty conscience?


It ultimately comes down to the individuals jumping on board a movement rather than the hashtag itself. For any given tag there are those with legitimate commentary to share and those who see it as an opportunity to randomly bash based on gender/race/whatever. It's hard to filter one group out from the other when they are lumped together. But for good and not so good, that's precisely what a hashtag does.  That is the very intent.  A hashtag mashes voices together, makes no distinctions between the articulate and the incomprehensible, the compassionate and the bitterly furious, the fair minded and the stereotype promoters, the well meaning teachers and the blindly hurtful. There is no fix for this that I can think of other than what I started out with.  Judge individuals on a case by case basis.  Distinguish between those you loathe and those you love.  Even in the social media era, at root I believe most of us want to like each other.  I believe we can play nicely, and when a topic of disagreement is landed upon, manage to disagree in an agreeable manner. We can speak the truth without resorting to general slander.


I agree with this article that #YesAllWomen matters, just as I feel #BringBackOurGirls matters, and other movements carried out online as well. That doesn't mean everyone is deploying #YesAllWomen correctly and effectively, or that those who have something to say to the contrary don't deserve to be heard.  No conversation can take place when we tune each other out, nothing new can be learned.



Bottom line: If a man insults or degrades you, he isn't worthy of your respect. On the other hand, if a man feels insulted or degraded by you because you lumped him in with rapists and street harassers and guys with the bare minimum of home training, maybe he has earned the right by a lifetime of respectful attitude and actions to feel offended.  He'll probably get over it though, just in time for the next hashtag to drop.














Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Here I Am...OR...Hair I Am




































































Artwork provided by Erin Go Paint on Etsy


The line between a woman either defying or succumbing to peer (or non peer) pressure and her simply making decisions based on personal preference can be mighty thin. How can you tell at a glance which is the case? Or do you simply assume based on your biases?

Black women catch a lot of heat for some of the personal appearance decisions they make. Like it or not, plan to or not, their grooming choices immediately become political statements. At least they are interpreted as statements by certain black women and perhaps by a number of black men as well.

If a black woman relaxes her hair (or adds extensions, or wears a wig sometimes, or whatever other trick has been concocted to create an illusion in place of reality) it’s because she has been bombarded with imagery from white owned fashion magazines. She has succumbed to the Eurocentric definition of beauty and opted to become as white looking as possible. So goes one take on the matter.

Asian women have straight hair. Why can’t black women be emulating them or Native Americans or some other non-white so therefore non-oppressor culture?

There are innumerable versions of beauty and no shortage of ways for a woman to mask perceived imperfections and emphasize her favorite features as she sees best. The sun tans some faces and reddens others. Thin lipped women may desire a fuller pout. Jeans pull off various tricks in showcasing a posterior. A woman looks in the mirror and ponders how to make it a better friend. She works with what she’s got and what she can purchase at a reasonable price. The calculations made are quite fascinating. It’s amazing in some cases how different the After can look from the Before when skill combines with will. But is all powerful vanity not sufficient motivation for these alterations? Must we seek deeper meaning when God given shallowness adequately summarizes?

Why can’t a black woman simply not feel like fighting with the comb, decide to go at least temporarily with a more easily manageable option? Many men shave their head low or bald because it is low maintenance, allows them to spend minimal time fussing with their ‘do. Can’t a black woman desire a style she can quickly run a comb through or twist in a braid or pigtail or whatever without renouncing Harriet Tubman in the process? Can’t a woman desire a little more length? Hey, I’m still talking about hair here, keep your thoughts clean. Black women aren’t the only people who alter the dynamic of their hair. Is a white woman without naturally straight, flowing strands who decides to relax it making the statement that she wants to be perceived as Whiter? If someone with straight hair decides to grow dredlocks (sightings of a White or Asian person with dreds always makes me slightly double take) this is typically seen as paying homage, no? Not a sign of disgust with the race they were born into. Why is it only acceptable for respectful mimicry of another culture to go in one direction? Eminem continues to be a superstar but when is the last time you heard from that Hootie and the Blowfish guy? Okay, maybe I’m stretching a bit too far. Let me stick with hair.

I personally would not make a follicular decision that didn’t allow me to jump into a pool or that equaled the expense of my monthly mortgage payments. But that’s my choice made strictly for practical and economic reasons, not a declaration of either racial solidarity or defection. If I was a woman perhaps I’d reconsider what I was willing to pay monetarily and in convenience. But I’m not, so I proudly pee standing up while my hair does whatever it is it feels like doing.

If a black woman chooses to wear her hair naturally, it’s considered a political statement by many even if not to the woman herself. By doing nothing special she’s supposedly making the commentary that she’s proud of who and what she is. Maybe, maybe not. Since when is doing nothing issuing a statement other than: “Nothing”? Perhaps she is proud of herself and ever so grateful for the ethnicity she was born into, perhaps she barely gives it a thought, but how the hell can we reach a verdict based strictly on her hairstyle? Non-black women wear their hair the way it grows out their head all the time. This isn’t seen as a sign of White pride, Asian pride, Latina pride. It just is. Being natural isn’t supposed to be a complicated negotiation, it’s meant to be no more or less than…natural. Correct?

Life is hard, probably a little harder if you’re a woman rather than penis possessor, probably a little harder the more melanin is in your skin. Why make things even more difficult for yourself by constantly defending when you’re not necessarily under attack, constantly attacking an enemy who has no idea they are supposed to be at war with you?

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe every morning when every black woman walks into her bathroom and decides how she wishes to look as she greets the world that day, she’s composing a political manifesto.

Then again, perhaps she wants to feel reasonably attractive to whoever she finds herself attracted to, but otherwise she mostly just wants to go about her business and could care less what conclusions have been reached about her by you, me, or anyone else she isn’t beholden to.

Plenty of people are out looking for meaning, and purpose, and causes to fight for and against. The result is that they will translate whatever they see as something to either hail or deride. This seems like an exhausting way to live, but it is your right and I’ll do nothing to take it away from you.

But surely there are others: women and men, black and white, kinky, curly, straight, or frizzy headed - who simply wish to be. We should all have the right to just be.

A comb is a tool to enhance her beauty however a woman sees fit. A comb should not be viewed as a sword and will fail miserably if deployed in such a manner. It wasn’t invented for use as a political weapon, and neither should be the hair it goes through. It’s all good.




Naturally Hairy Situation

White Women, Black Hairstyles





p.s. - Apparently it's not all good. Since I wrote the above I learned via Twitter that this advertisement is supposed to offend me as a black man.

Huh? Now I will concede that I don't see anything particularly clever going on. The point that I'd be better off purchasing Nivea face/body shave lotion is weakly made at best. But what is it exactly that's racist about the picture? I saw it said someplace that since the decapitated head has an afro the ad indicates afros are an uncivililzed hairdo. So by this theory black men aren't left out of the wear it natural or else have a sell out hairstyle either, even though I don't see too many brothas walking around with weaves and thank God the conk is mostly a thing of the past. The hair on the thrower's head is just as natural as that on the dude about to be tossed, just cut considerably shorter. Is a close cut dome copying white culture? Nah, that can't be it. I have officially lost count of how many things I'm supposed to be offended by. Plenty of other people though always seem able to find the next thing...and the next...and the next...

p.p.s. - Latest twist of absurdity in hair issue.  Can white women join the natural hair movement too?

p.p.p.s - Some more hair based slander thrown in for good measure

17 Reasons Why Natural Hair Is Not A Good Look