* Preface: Years ago I chose not to closely follow college sports. Reason – too many damn teams to keep track of.
* I can handle the # of teams in AFC/NFC – American League/National League, Eastern Conference/Western Conference.
* But there’s like a million colleges in the USA. Too many teams, too many divisions, too many players, too many bowl games to keep track of.
* I figured the players who were good enough I’d eventually see in the pros. In the meantime, ESPN highlights of college careers sufficient.
* Celebrities are now like college teams IMHO. Too many damn many of them. The requirements for admittance are ridiculously lax.
* It used to be that to acquire pop culture fame you needed to regularly appear on TV or in movies or have a few hit songs.
* Celebrities once did things worth noting and paying attention to, which is how they became celebrities in the first place.
* Nowadays it seems about as easy to be considered a celebrity as it is to get a 500 SAT score. Talk about lowering the bar.
* The celebrity bar is on the friggin’ floor. Make a YouTube video, you’re a star. Appear on a “reality show”, you’re a star.
* Be related to at least one person who actually did something to become a legit celebrity, guess what, now you’re a celebrity too.
* Being a child of Rod Stewart for example should not be enough to be called a celebrity. At most it’s a good line to help get you laid.
* Being the child of 2 whole celebs like Bruce Willis & Demi Moore should make you WAY better looking than Rumer, but not worthy of a Wikipedia page.
* How many half actual celebrity parented – half groupie parented kids must there be out there? Do they all qualify for celebrity status too?
* If an NBA All Star has a dozen kids by a dozen random women, are there now 12 new people to potentially be on the cover of People magazine?
* For a few months for some godforsaken reason I became a regular reader of Perez Hilton’s blog. Hilton became a celebrity in his own right by “writing” about and obscenely doodling on photographs of so called celebrities.
* I’m not knocking Hilton’s hustle. He no doubt worked damn hard to put that blog together. He actually accomplished something.
* In fact, ridiculous as his existence may be, Hilton was doing way more than many of the people he was either fawning over or ridiculing.
* I’ll grant Perez his fame, but why should the guy who came in 10th on America’s Gotta Dance While Eating Prawns be considered a celebrity?
* The word “celebrity” has become totally devoid of legitimate meaning. Shouldn’t a talent and an accomplishment be involved?
* Gossip columns were intended to be devoted to people who did something worthy enough for us to actually care about what else they did.
* Is the married Spencer Tracy hooking up with Katherine Hepburn or is she still involved with Howard Hughes? Now THAT’S gossip.
* Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn and Howard Hughes were each monumentally famous in their own rights, even more in collaboration.
* Is a cast member from Survivor Season 17 dating a cast member from The Apprentice Season 12? Maybe, maybe not, but who sincerely cares??!!!
* Apparently plenty of people DO care about mating rites of insta-celebs, which makes the appropriate question – Why? That one has me stumped.
* These hotel heiresses & reality show participants & game show contestants & kids of the formerly famous get all mixed together in my head.
* I stopped reading Hilton blog because I had no idea what Heidi Montag's done 2 make her worth repeatedly mentioning & didn't care 2 find out.
* What I do know is that there are a whole bunch people nowadays who are famous for being famous. That’s absurd, isn’t it? Or is it just me?
* Perhaps I’m just getting old. I want to remain in the loop of contemporary culture, but not if the loop is so flimsily constructed.
* I don’t mind reading about emerging movie or pop stars doing films & music I don’t care 4 because I can at least respect that they’re making something.
* Remember the flack Anna Kournikova took for getting way more endorsements & attention than her level of success warranted?
* At least Anna played tennis, won far more matches than she lost, even a couple titles. She didn’t just hold racquet & pose for camera at 1st.
* Being a Big Brother cast member is just sitting there holding a racquet. Nothing wrong with it but can we hold off on the Walk of Fame star?
* I’ve yet to see Zach Ephron in anything, but I know he acts/sings while being ridiculously pretty, and I can tolerate having this knowledge.
* Before he was Zach Ephron he was Rob Lowe. Keith Partridge is now Hannah Montanna. Different generation same principle, I get it.
* But why should I care about Jon & Kate and their 8? I’m 1 of 5, my mom 1 of 9, my dad 1 of 13. Not a single TV show resulted from any of this.
* And even if you do make it to TV, or to the internet which accepts everybody, that alone should not be enough to be considered a celebrity.
* Doesn’t the word celebrity imply that something is worth celebrating? Why would I celebrate someone becoming known for becoming known?
* Story on the ass size of daughter of the guy who defended O.J. appears directly next to story about volcano eruption that kills 2000. WTF?
* If side by side coverage was not the norm, existence of faux celebrities would fail to register & I’d have no complaint. But it is, so I do.
* The Maytag Repair man was on TV all the time but at no point did I know a damn thing about his sex life, and I was totally cool with that.
* Or maybe I really did want to know. Maybe I am subconsciously interested in the doings of those who have done little to nothing of note.
* Nah, that can’t be right. I’m much deeper than that. After all, I tweet therefore I am of significance.
* In fact, as of this tweet I declare myself a celebrity. Come see if you can snap my photo without getting slapped upside the head, paparazzi.
* This rant of sentences under 140 characters is done. I doubt anyone will have read the entire thing due to the bizarre nature of Twitter. [UNTIL NOW]