Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanksgiving




I did not feel that I needed a reminder to be grateful this Thanksgiving. I may not show it as frequently or as overtly as I should, but I am quite happy and thankful about the life I'm living. Headed to the Bronx to partake of the feast being prepared by my mother, and to spend precious bonding time with my parents, siblings, and nephews, I considered myself to be a lucky man indeed.

My youngest brother would be moving from New York to Georgia a couple days after Thanksgiving. It saddens me that I will most likely see less of him and his family now. I didn't think I was seeing enough of them to begin with. The days fly by so quickly. It's easy to take for granted that our loved ones will always be conveniently around. But I am glad that they are moving from a crowded apartment to a house. The move is definitely an upgrade for them, so it was easy to feel good about their departure rather than selfishly grumpy.

It would not be a great exaggeration to say I barely had a care in the world as my wife and daughter and I drove from the garden state to Da Boogie Down. Even relative lightness of traffic was on our side because we hit the road earlier than most, yet were careful to coordinate our road time with Ava's nap schedule. Not a single snag had been hit as we made it past the toll and glided over the George Washington Bridge. When the traffic in our lane slowed suddenly, it was with some nervousness that Erin applied pressure on the breaks. Since we were driving within the speed limit and there were no bad weather elements to deal with, there was sufficient time for us to pull to a stop. This could not be said about the idiot driving behind us. Unable to stop in time, and quite possibly not even attempting to, he instead swerved suddenly around us, clipping the passenger side door but otherwise leaving us safe. Ava did not stir from her slumber in the back seat while Erin and I turned to each other and shared a moment of stunned shock.

The occupants of a white convertible that was a few car lengths ahead of us did not share our luck. Their vehicle was hit hard from behind, turned violently 90 degrees to the left, and sped across the lanes until coming to a brutal stop when smacking into the cement divider of the bridge. Their car was briefly airborne and then landed with an awful thud. The four passengers elevated within the car but none were thrown from it. From the look we got at them, they were stunned and quite possibly injured, but probably not severely or fatally. Then again, my unprofessional diagnosis from a gaze isn't particularly reliable. This all took place within a matter of seconds.

Police were on the scene instantly. We made our way around the accident area, grateful to be unharmed and not wanting to be held up for who knows how long on the bridge when good food enjoyed with loved ones in my childhood home awaited. Between the amount of people in the house, the tightness of space, and the energy level of a child who will not sit still for a waking second unless absorbed in a favorite TV show, Thanksgiving dinner was nearly as chaotic as those terrifying and illuminating seconds on the GW Bridge. But I'll take the good kind of chaos over the flip side any day of the week. Erin, Ava and I are safe and sound. This is what matters.

Have our lives been significantly altered by drastically changed mindsets? This remains to be seen. It's easy to state that we now intend to live and love and create with reckless abandon, but considerably tougher to pull off. Day jobs and daycare woes and less sleep than desired continue to intervene and make it challenging to live a life less ordinary. Then again, perhaps it's not so much about the results as it is about the effort. And since we did emerge unharmed, we continue to have an unspecified if not indefinite amount of time to pursue that which we dream about most passionately. I did not require extra incentive to feel gratitude for each breath I take, but it came anyway and accomplished just that. You never know which moment will be your last, and it's probably unrealistic to live each one as though that's what it very well may be. But what I can do is take the bare minimum for granted and try to make as many of them as productive and gratifying as can be managed.

- Roy


Friday, October 12, 2007

Boo!

I’ve expanded my fabric painting to bibs and am having a blast painting them. I dilute the paint with lots of water so it handles like watercolor. I created this bib for Ava for Halloween, and she wore it for hours last Sunday, by choice, as a decorative piece.

The bibs will be available for sale on ebay soon!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Over the hill gang OR Mature like fine wine?
























Two years after knee pain forced him to walk away from the NBA, Allan Houston at age 36 is trying to make it back with the New York Knicks, a team he led to an improbable berth in the 1999 NBA finals. If ever a team was in need of a Christian influence and a consistent jump shot, it would be the Knickerbockers. And if he ends up needing to play with a cane, he should still be no worse than the third weakest defensive player in orange and blue on the court at any given time.

Vinny Testaverde won the Heisman Trophy the same year his new Carolina teammate Dwayne Jarret was born. He was the No. 1 overall pick eight years before the Panthers entered the NFL and has thrown more passes (several of them as a 2-time member of my beloved and beleaguered New York Jets) than have been thrown in Carolina's history. He's also nearly four years older than his offensive coordinator. Yet the soon-to-be 44-year-old Testaverde — the man nicknamed "Dad" by his new teammates — will not only be in uniform but could very well start this Sunday for the banged-up Panthers at Arizona, going up against a Cardinals team that he turned down an opportunity to play for because of its farther distance from his family in New York City. Starting at quarterback for Arizona will the 36-year old Kurt Warner who is currently playing at close to the Pro Bowl caliber of his younger days, a surprise to everyone but himself.

Another athlete who would not be surprising himself this weekend if he emerges victorious is Evander Holyfield. At age 44 he is attempting to win his fifth heavyweight crown and envisions himself unifying all of the major championship belts before finally retiring from boxing (and committing himself fully to dancing with fellow stars?) for good.

I wish all of them luck and hope they are exhibiting better sense in pushing their bodies to the limit than the latest poster child for illegal steroid use (No, I’m not referring to Barry Bonds. No, not Floyd Landis either) - the lovely but sadly immoral Marion Jones.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Painting wherever I can

Ava lives life out loud! She is a dynamo and a fireball... ready to
jump in and try anything, do anything, and meet everyone that comes her way. I love this about her but her laundry tends to reflect her enthusiasm for life! It is a constant battle to keep her clothes clean and un-stained. On the weekend I often change her clothes a few times a day to keep stains from setting. During the week she goes to group daycare, and when I pick her up her clothes tell the story of the day's activities. Especially on painting days.

They don't seem to understand that 'washable' paint means 'wash it immediately or else pre-treat & wash it 5 times and hope for the best'. And, they don't seem to understand that babies and toddlers should be changed or put in a smock before painting. So I struggle to remove stains and salvage her clothes. Very frustrating. The added twist, as an artist, I certainly don't want to hold back Ava's creative energy - I love that she loves crayons, painting, and all art projects.

My solution, fabric paint! I purchased Jacquard fabric paints, http://www.jacquardproducts.com/ in a range of colors, did a few tests on old t-shirts and now whenever it makes aesthetic sense, will turn stains into patterns and designs on her clothes. Pictured is a lavender tank top that ended up with a large orange dot on it (it became the center of the largest flower)... never quite figured out what the stain was.

So, I stand with stain remover in one hand and a paintbrush in the other and say to Ava, "Go forth and meet life head on, Mommy is prepared."

Friday, September 14, 2007

IMHO
















Here are some of my random thoughts for the day.










1) Britney Spears IS NOT fat, and for a woman who has given birth twice in the past few years, she's downright ripped. Is she currently the leanest she's ever been in her life? Understandably not. Is she worthy of ridicule? Most certainly. From her choice of mates, to her "parenting" style, to her wardrobe malfunctions, to her ill conceived follicular decisions, to her seeming inability to remain sober for more than a few hours at a time, to ... America is a country that just loves to build idols up so they can later be torn down. As a celebrity who should credit sex appeal and slick marketing far more than actual talent for her immense success to date, I consider Britney Spears to be fair game for whoever wishes to mock her. The public has every right to put whoever they wish up on a pedestal, no matter how shallow the reasoning, and equal right to pull the pedestal away and laugh hysterically at the resulting crash landing. Britney can use her millions of dollars to wipe the tears away. But please people, let's not aid the afflictions of anorexia and bulimia by claiming that a woman with an extra pound or two on her frame is Porky Pig. There's plenty more material to work with if you have nothing better to do with your time than make fun of a former Mouseketeer.




2) If I've said it a million times I haven't said it enough. Bill Belichick is an ass. As an NFL addict, I really hope the Jets perform improbably magnificent this season. My fingers are crossed that I do prophetically well in the football pool I'm participating in. But what I most strongly desire for this football season is that it does not end with a Super Bowl victory for the New England Patriots. Even without another ring, I'm sure Tom Brady will have no problem when the time comes to move on from his current supermodel girlfriend to the next one. He won't suffer too much if the Colts repeat as champions and Peyton Manning commercials run 24 hours per day instead of merely the current 23.3 hours. But I'm pretty sure anything less than Super Bowl triumph is pure anguish for Belichick, and that's precislely what a cheater and all around jerk like him deserves. Other than that, since he's never done anything to me personally, I wish him well.




3) Bravo for medical advancement, kudos to the doctors and medical staff who treated Kevin Everett, and God bless that young man who seems to have miraculously escaped a lifetime of paralysis. We were all reminded how little sports means in the overall scheme of things as he lay still on the football field and reports later came that he was probably going to be a paraplegic. It did not initially appear to be a story that would have a happy ending, but an experimental procedure that utilized an ice cold saline injection to temporarily put Everett in a hypothermic state may have rewritten a tragedy into a tale of triumph.




4) It has been tough being a New York Knicks fan these past few years due to their display of ineptitude on the court. The previous general manager seemed to be trying to assemble the least athletic basketball team of all time. The current gm has simply reversed field, going after ballers who jump high and run fast but don't quite manage to play consistently well. They certainly have not been able to play particularly well together in spite of their individual talents, largely because they each duplicate the same skill sets (offense first / defense hardly ever). So they have settled for taking turns having good nights while regularly compiling team losses. They hired a Hall of Fame coach who by all appearances proceeded to try to lose as many games as possible in order to be elevated from the bench to the corporate offices. Only in America does one purposely do poorly in order to be promoted. The Knicks point guard Stephon Marbury has tried to change his image as a selfish player by coming out with an affordable sneaker, but in the process of increasing his interviews and public speaking engagements to promote the shoe, he has further highlighted that he isn't the brightest guy in the world ("dog fighting is a fine sport, is it not?"). As if all of this wasn't enough, now we have the off season distraction of the Knicks gm/coach (as plain old gm he was quite ineffective at just one job, so it was determined he might do better if he had additional responsibilities) being sued for sexual harrassment. Last year he needed to improve the team by an unspecified degree to keep his jobs. This year I believe he merely needs to refrain from flashing his "credentials" to the Knicks City Dancers. It certainly has not been easy to defend being a New York Knicks fan since Isiah Thomas strode into town, but nor has it been boring. If they're not going to enthrall their fans with synchronized championship level play, at least they're entertaining us with Desperate Housewives type theatrics. Go Knicks!!!


5) O.J. Simpson - WTF????? You'd think the concept of keeping a low profile would have occured to him by now. No Johnnie Cochran to save his behind this time around.


I'm out like Members Only jackets.

- Roy Pickering (author of Feeding the Squirrels: A Novella)















Monday, September 10, 2007

September 10th


Tomorrow as everybody knows is the anniversary of a day that will be discussed in solemn remembrance until the end of time, which according to global warming conspiracy theorists should be right around next Tuesday. Everybody with the ability to have an opinion will have something to say about where they were and how they felt and continue to feel about 9/11/01. And everyone with the ability to publicly express their opinions (i.e. - everyone but my parents and the approximately 19-20 other people worldwide who do not yet have a blog/Facebook page/Twitter account) will jam up cyberspace with odes to the end of innocence. Rather than adding to the monumental 9/11 pile, I've decided to write about September 10th. Since the box on the calendar corresponding to 9/11 symbolizes all that can go wrong when you least expect it, as I see it, 9/10 symbolizes the bliss of ignorance that envelops us when all appears to be (and perhaps actually is) well with the world. It is the day before you're diagnosed with cancer, the day before your wife walks out the door, the day before the drunk driver ignores that stop sign, the day before you are downsized, the day before the postman delivers that rejection letter, the day before you realize you forfeited your virginity to a callous dirtbag, the day before she informs you that she likes you only "as a friend", the day before you learn you are pregnant, the day before you learn you are not pregnant, the day before the blind man can no longer see and the deaf man can no longer hear and the fat woman has hit the final note of her melancholy song. 9/10 is the day on which we still have hope, ambition, fearless wonder and unstoppable determination. It is the last day upon which we look forward with zero caution towards tomorrow. For these reasons it is a date that is equally deserving as 9/11 to be remembered and commemorated.

That is why starting today I will make a conscious effort to record and recall the remaining 9/10's of my life. I made a promise to myself on 9/10/07 to get back on the saddle of writing regularly. I'm starting with this blog entry. Later today, perhaps I will resume work on my novel in progress or get started on a short story that I have yet to conceive. 9/10/07 is the first Monday after the first Sunday of the '07 football season. My New York Jets started off slowly and have a 0-1 record to show for it. I was at the game and hated to watch them lose, but enjoyed the fine weather and company of friends and family. My wife was at home with our daughter, and my highlight of the day was when Erin sent a text message to alert me that Ava said "touchdown" for the first time. I am so delighted by her firsts. They are coming at a fast and furious pace, and despite her incredible memory she most likely will not remember them. But I certainly will, at least until the onset of senility which I'm hoping won't kick in until the day after I'm buried. If Ava becomes a Jets fan like her old man, 9/10/07 is the first of many 0 - 1 starts she'll have to endure. The beautiful thing about being 0 - 1 is that you have 15 upcoming opportunities to redeem yourself. Not a bad deal, or a bad thing to realize.

I made a mistake yesterday that I hope not to repeat on 9/10/07 or any of my days to follow. Now I know to always open the cover before turning on my grill to make sure nothing is sitting on it. By doing so I should never again partially melt the plastic handles of utensils. I may not be learning new things at quite as rapid a clip as Ava, but I am still being taught valuable life lessons. I greatly appreciate this because it seems to me that once once you're done learning about the world, there's little point of continuing to live in it.

On 9/10/07 I read about the MTV award show that took place over the weekend. Apparently the ex-husbands of Pamela Anderson got into a scuffle. This reminded me that even though passion is often misguided, it is as necessary a fuel to the soul as oxygen is to the lungs. I also read about Britney Spears' comeback performance where she failed to master lip synching or to display much enthusiasm through her dancing or facial expression. This served as a reminder that when the world knocks you down, even from all the way up on top of it, sometimes it's best to stay on the mat for a bit rather than hopping right back up. There will always be another battle on another day upon which you can emerge victorious. Getting up too soon is usually a surefire way to be brutally knocked down again. You can't win them all, but you can learn from each loss so as to minimize the amount of them.

I'm done for today with attempting to be profound. Time to move on to other things, like lunch. After all, 9/10 is not about being wise or making practical plans or chasing improbable dreams or buying the world a Coke. It is simply a day to appreciate everything you have, however little or much that is. It is a day to eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is no guarantee.


- Roy L. Pickering Jr. (author of Feeding the Squirrels: A Novella)

http://writeronlinebooks.com/book/feedingthesquirrels.htm

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Musings of a migraine sufferer, 34 years and counting

Subtitle: Living Gluten Free



Living gluten free is not easy – but it is an absolute necessity for me. I have celiac disease http://www.celiaccentral.org/What_is_Celiac_/13/ and gluten is my biggest migraine trigger. It takes vigilance and discipline to eat completely gluten-free, and it is the only way to control celiac disease. I have learned to be informed, to be strict, to read every ingredient http://www.celiac.com/st_prod.html?p_prodid=185, and to be very wary of prepared foods.

Being vigilant is extremely important now since it’s not just for me, but for Ava too. It is challenging enough to be a working mom, who tries to find creative time in all the craziness, but if I am not feeling well I cannot handle my basic, and most important, responsibilities… and Ava gets cheated.

Finding substitutes, acceptable substitutes, is much easier now then it was 5 years ago, especially since we live 3 miles from a lovely Whole Foods in Millburn. After moving to NJ, Roy and I visited Whole Foods for the first time and by the time we made it to the second isle I was crying… There were so many gluten free choices!! I was overwhelmed, relieved, filled with joy – I could start eating like a ‘normal’ person again.

One of the greatest gluten free products I have found is Chocolate Truffle Brownie Mix, by Gluten-Free Pantry http://www.glutino.com/ which is rich, moist, delicious, very chocolaty, and easy to make. The true taste test is that all the non-celiacs who try these brownies love them too! I add walnuts sometimes as an extra treat… but this mix is a winner as is. Bravo to the Gluten-Free Pantry. These brownies are especially near and dear to my heart since I had gone without chocolate for 23 years - I have a lot of catching up to do! I am overjoyed that chocolate is no longer a trigger for my migraines, but that is a story for another day.

- Erin