Friday, October 10, 2014

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST

SOMETIMES EVEN THIS HAPPENS:

White US couple sue sperm bank after getting pregnant by black donor

Jennifer Cramblett was five months pregnant when she realized the mistake


My advice...

DEAL WITH IT.



Because no matter what happens and how you handle it, people are going to say ONE THING, or else they're going to say SOMETHING ELSE.  So don't be so easily overwhelmed.  Even Forrest Gump was smart enough to know that life is like a box of chocolates, not a bowl of Cheerios.

Here's my fuller take on this matter in one full blast:

I'm not saying that these women are raving bigots. I'm not saying they don't have a valid lawsuit on their hands, though if they are the ones responsible for this story becoming public, I do hold them accountable for what should have remained a relatively private matter.  Obviously you go to a sperm bank to have a measure of control over what DNA you get, so if a mistake is made, someone should be accountable. BUT, my #1 takeaway from the art of parenting is that no matter what curveballs get thrown your way, you love your kid because it's your kid. Life in general, parenting in particular, is about receiving what you didn't prepare yourself in advance to handle. You didn't prepare for a colicky infant. You didn't prepare for a kid with ADHD. You didn't prepare for a light sleeper,  or a tantrum thrower, or a likes to take off and runner.  So what?  You love your kid because he/she is your kid and you deal with what you have to deal with. Some parenting situations will be easier than others.  Maybe your kid will need extra help with learning ABC 123. Maybe your kid will learn super fast and need to have catered advanced education. Maybe your kid will be allergic to whatever foods happen to be most abundantly around all the time.  You have no idea what you're going to have to deal with as a parent. But whatever you have to learn on the fly, you just do, because you're a parent and that's your job.  You become expert at whatever it is you need to become expert at.  If that's handling a different grade of hair than you're accustomed to, then that's what it is. If you live someplace where people look at you funny (as if some weren't already doing so because you're a same sex couple), well that's what they invented moving vans for.  I don't see this as a story about race tolerance/intolerance so much as a story about whining, which is something I have little tolerance for. If you can't handle the unexpected then don't become parents in the first place. The job requires flexibility, adaptability, and the ability to think outside the box.  Not everybody can do it particularly well.  But everybody seems to be an expert at suing people these days.

 And below is what I had to say in tweet sized outbursts:















Final thought: Since this is a case of accidental interracial sperm donation rather than a less plausible incident of accidental interracial adoption, nobody is saying that Jennifer Cramblett and her partner shouldn't even be parenting a black child in the first place.  The child is black of course because in our society: Black + White = Light Skinned BLACK rather than Both.  Biracial somehow is a concept too complicated for many to grasp.  And Jennifer Cramblett (at this time, but time does sometimes heal stupidity) is a walking billboard for those who say that a person who self identifies as white cannot be a proper parent for someone who is ID'd as black.  To those who see matters that way I have nothing to say except DO NOT GET ME STARTED. ONE LOVE.


Conclusion: Lawsuit dismissed. She's free to sue again for negligence and it is certainly negligent in matters of this nature and expense to grab # 330 instead of # 380.
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