Meet Marshall from MATTERS OF CONVENIENCE

 

                              Matters of Convenience

Marshall’s legs were burning but he peddled no less strenuously. He welcomed the pain because it gave him something to dwell on besides his last conversation with Audrey. Tangible hurt was preferable to a metaphorical kick to the gut. Then again, it mattered little what his preferences were. 

It was ridiculous for him to be jealous, especially since she had been kind enough to offer him a consolation prize as she was twisting the dagger of 94 her indifference into his heart. Grudgingly he’d allowed himself to be introduced to Sarah, found her to be as attractive as promised, and had a lunch date scheduled with her for the next day. He had been on the look-out for a diversion from Audrey, not expecting that she’d be the person to provide one. She was a dear friend, love of his life, and pimp supreme all rolled into one. Was it any wonder that he was consumed by her? 

Perhaps consumed was too strong a word. When Audrey told him she was not interested in him romantically six years earlier, he had been disappointed but not devastated. As they began spending time together as friends there was no ulterior motive on his part. He enjoyed her company for what it was. It took several months to realize that he was enjoying it a little too much, that he was harboring unreciprocated desire. He considered making his feelings known, and if rejected, the second time around he would have walked away for good, sacrificing friendship for the sake of his ego. But then Todd came along, rendering any professions of love moot. Eventually he grew accustomed to Todd’s presence without ever taking much of a liking to him. He was far from consumed by Audrey during those years, or so he concluded as he took an unnecessarily sharp turn on his bike, scarcely noticing as Brooklyn’s Prospect Park whizzed by. 

Thoughts of courting her resurfaced when she and Todd broke up. He would give her sufficient time and then express his feelings. Or would he? After five years he would not be able to breezily abandon their friendship. Sleepless nights were 95 spent wondering if he should keep quiet or go for broke. She was free, as was he, it was now or never. Yet he continued to procrastinate, to wait for a moment that was assuredly perfect. 

He had become a maestro at the waiting game. That’s what he had been doing while she was meeting some guy named James, waiting for her to show up and crush him. She did everything short of sending him an engraved invitation which read - Enjoy your coffee and cookies until I finally show up to make you feel like shit once more for old time’s sake. 

It was a stunning day, the sun at high beam as if to highlight his despair. But why should he feel badly, he asked himself for the hundredth time on his mindless bicycle race against invisible demons that could not be outpaced. He should have been used to the fact that they were not meant to be together. This James character had done him a huge favor by showing up when he did, sparing him the sting of rejection and the humiliation of standing by idly. Audrey had found someone new. She had moved on, would be giving happiness another go. As her friend he should have been glad for these things, especially since she was not the only one presented with an opportunity. Thanks to her intervention, he possessed one as well. Sarah was possibly the woman he had been waiting for. There was that cursed word again. Waiting. 

Fuck waiting. Screw standing still. It was time for a new plan of action. And he had at last concocted one. For however long his legs and lungs could stand, there was a single clear cut mission for him to accomplish. He would peddle, 96 and peddle, and peddle as if his life depended on it. If not his life, surely his sanity was at stake.  

MEET AUDREY

MEET JAMES

Meet James from MATTERS OF CONVENIENCE

                                  Excerpt from Matters of Convenience

James played back phone messages received while he was out. The first was from Sonya, confirming their date for later that evening. He had met her a week earlier at a friend’s party, drawn to her high cheekbones, black hair that nearly reached down to her waist, and large opal eyes. She came from a wealthy Indonesian family, worked in corporate law, and was not the most riveting conversationalist. Nor did he relish the fact that she was a vegan. An ex-girlfriend of his had been committed to avoiding meat and a number of other culinary categories at all costs. The instructions she gave wait staff to make certain her dish passed muster often took a full five minutes to issue. This detracted from James’ enjoyment of his own meal, which much to Aisha’s dismay he preferred red blooded. 

Sonya had as many minuses going for her as pluses. Nevertheless, he elected to follow up on what had been started when he crossed the room to introduce himself to the exotic looking woman bathing in moon beams shining through the patio door. 

Fantasizing about the best case scenario of his upcoming date with Sonya was interrupted by the second message. It was left by his brother Craig, brief as usual, reminding him that he would be dropping by at three o’clock. Glancing at his watch, James saw that the appointed hour was twenty minutes away. He knew why Craig had 16 invited himself over, for he had done it often enough in the past, always with the same motivation - to hit his little brother up for cash. 

Craig was older by three years and less responsible by as many decades. Refusing to suffer the indignity of settling down at a stable job, he opted to invest in one get rich quick scheme after another. Whenever he was short of the necessary capital, usually due to some team not covering the spread, James was the preferred bank from which he withdrew. Craig was good about paying him back once his finances were back in the black. He would promise that this would be the last time, for his latest plan was foolproof and guaranteed to set him up for life. When things failed to work out it was disappointing, but to him, the risks he took handily beat working nine to five for a living. 

The final message was from his best friend who had relocated to Santa Barbara about a year ago. Their childhood was spent roaming the streets of the Bronx together, and for almost as far back as he could remember, Marcus had been talking about heading out to California someday. His master plan was to start his own hedge fund. Once it was up and running and raking in serious money, he hoped to bring James on board, reuniting the two Musketeers. 

James decided to wait until after his brother’s visit to return the call. Shooting the breeze with Marcus would put him in a great mood entering his date with Sonya. 

After pouring a snifter of brandy, he stood by the windows that wrapped around his apartment. His 17 vantage point from the 30th floor placed a generous portion of the city within sight. Once the sun went down, countless lights transformed Manhattan into a gigantic Christmas tree. 

James had done well for himself career wise, and his magazine layout worthy apartment with photogenic view was just one of the perks of success. He had always been dissatisfied with any grade less than an A, with any game that did not result in victory, with any goal, regardless of size and urgency that failed to be achieved. Lately his professional ascendancy felt stalled, frustration mounting due to others being rewarded for inferior results while his were overlooked. He was compelled to wonder if he had gone as far as a black man would be allowed to by his current employer. It wasn’t as if he was one of many African Americans who worked there. He stood out like a drop of ink floating in a bucket of milk. 

He was not predisposed to cast blame on racism or any other ism for what failed to go his way. Instead of making excuses, he refused to come up short. This mindset had been instilled by strong willed parents. They planted the seed and then fostered his passion to excel by enrolling him in private schools rather than poorly funded public ones where it was easier to drift into bad habits. He grew accustomed at an early age to environments where his smooth brown complexion was darker than the vast majority of his peers. He did not feel uncomfortable in such settings, for he recognized them as the places he needed to be. Nevertheless, there was a part of him which could not help but feel like a stranger in a strange land. He managed 18 to forget the differences between him and classmates and colleagues for long stretches of time, but inevitably, something or someone would remind him that they did exist.

MEET AUDREY

MEET MARSHALL