All He Does Is Lin

Petition by fans to keep Jeremy Lin in NY



Anyone who reads this blog with regularity or follows me on Twitter knows that I frequently discuss the subject of race relations. They also know that I love to talk sports. So when a water cooler topic arises that merges the two, I'm usually all over it with swiftness. In the case of the phenomenon that is Linmania, I've held back from writing extensively about it until now. And although I'm finally caving in and joining the runaway bandwagon, my thoughts will be kept relatively brief. After all, pretty much everyone has written pretty much everything about the sensation that is Jeremy Lin. Those who typically write about race but rarely about sports have chimed in. Those who usually write about sports but rarely about race have added their two cents. Those who rarely write or talk much about either race or sports have been compelled to comment. What more can possibly be left to say?

I probably won't unearth any new ways to play with the guy's name. Jeremy is a real Linderalla story and we're all in the throes of Linsanity. He is Super Lintendo come to save the day, and by that I mean a great deal more than merely the fortunes of his New York Knicks. He has also arrived on the scene to make us examine our prejudices and preconceptions, and this ultimately makes better people of us all. Something like that.

What Lin comparison can I make that has not already been brought to light? At first people made a connection to Tim Tebow primarily because Tim was the latest scorching hot trend just a couple months ago. Other than the meteoric rises of their respective popularity, they don't have very much in common though. In the era of social media all trends are magnified more than ever before because everyone is able to see what is on everyone else's mind on a continuous basis. Tebow inspired Facebook updates and tweets gave way to the same regarding Jeremy Lin. They are two athletes enjoying improbable early success, so there's that too. Of course, the most improbable thing about Tebow's success was that he achieved it with seemingly so little talent. One is tempted to call Tim a very lucky man, but since he wears his religion on his sleeve I suppose the word we're supposed to go with is blessed.

As for Jeremy Lin, also a rather spiritual fellow, most who initially believed he was a flash in the pan have by now conceded that he is talented at basketball. The improbable aspect is that he has succeeded in the NBA while Chinese. No point in tip toeing around this perception. Sure he went undrafted, and yes, Harvard is not a basketball powerhouse. But regardless of those factors, if Lin wasn't Asian I wouldn't be writing this blog posting and you would not have possibly found it because you were googling him.

The truly special thing about Jeremy Lin, the man as well as the growing myth, is that his existence destroys a racial stereotype. And at least from my point of view, that's the very best thing one can do to a racial stereotype. People keep double taking because they find it so difficult to accept that they're watching him pull off what a Chinese guy theoretically should not be able to do. If we go back to the reign of Tiger Woods in golf pre Blonde Ambitions, we'll recall a somewhat similar occurrence. Difference is, there is not much if anything in particular about golf that makes it seem a black person would have any more trouble mastering it than a white person. There are far fewer black golfers than white golfers for a variety of reasons, including the very important one that golf is an expensive sport and you don't find golf courses all over the place, unlike basketball courts. Tennis is another sport featuring black stars few and far between. The Williams sisters came along and took over for a good long while. Like Tiger they were exceptions that proved the rule to be a falsehood, although neither golf nor tennis is much blacker in attendance than it was prior to Tiger, Venus and Serena. There have been many African Americans in football for quite awhile, so although it took longer than it should have, eventually they gained foothold in "thinking man" positions such as quarterback and head coach. Each of these situations were unique and therefore headline grabbing at first, but quite plausible when you thought about them. History was made in a fashion much more fascinating than shocking.

But Jeremy Lin pulls off both feats. We are both enthralled and stunned. Basketball at the most elite level demands a degree of athleticism we're not expecting to see from someone Chinese/Japanese/Vietnamese/Korean/etc. I'm not sure why this is since a Martial Arts expert is about as athletic as they come, and that club certainly doesn't exclude Asians. Generally Asian dominance in American sports is uncommon because participation is low. The typical Tiger Mom that we learned about not too long ago is unlikely to be pushing her son to a basketball court, demanding that he average no less than a triple double. Maybe this is because that son is infrequently over six feet tall. Jeremy Lin does not look like a typical pro basketball player in race/nationality/anything, so he had to prove to us that he has what it takes. Boy, did he ever. Some people are so genuinely befuddled by the rise of Lin that they keep mistaking offensiveness for cleverness. Chink in the armor? Did you really think that would fly?

I doubt the NBA will become dominated by a wave of Asian point guards any time soon, but won't call it impossible because the beauty of Jeremy's accomplishment is that it redefines what we view as possible. Nobody is looking very far ahead though. Trends are not about what was or what will be. They're about what's taking place right here and now, and at the moment nothing and nobody is hotter than Jeremy Lin. Even our trendy First Black President is impressed. Barack Obama knows a thing or two about defying expectations. He realizes just as a point guard does, perhaps because he plays some b-ball himself, that it's quite useful when your opponent believes your skills are limited and predictable. This makes it that much easier to take people by surprise.

I'm happy about what Jeremy Lin is accomplishing and bemused by reactions to it, such as the examples below. The fact that he's doing it for my beloved hometown team makes it all the sweeter. Stereotype smashing is great, but it's basketball season and the Knicks have not done diddly squat for more years than I wish to count. Things are finally looking up (granted, I have been teased by temporary success before only to watch it come crashing down) and I could care less how popular or trailblazing their point guard happens to be. I just want to be able to keep counting wins, and since being made a starter Lin has kept them coming at a steady clip. Other sports analysts and sociological bloggers can examine his effect on our collective consciousness with greater depth if they wish. I'm just enjoying the magic carpet ride. By all appearances, so is Jeremy.

New cut 🔥 pic.twitter.com/junaEMZ0Fl

— Brooklyn Nets (@BrooklynNets) October 3, 2017

IMHO we should all feel free to borrow freely (so long as it's respectfully) from other cultures and wear our hair however we fancy.

Not my first time making this statement btw.

I Love Books

I have nothing much to add beyond the title of this blog posting and the videos presented below. Watch and enjoy if you're as grateful for the existence of books and the wonderful stories to be found within them as I am.  Then as soon as you're done, hop offline and grab a great book to read.




















Sneak peek at PATCHES OF GREY courtesy of Indies Unlimited



Great books I've pinned on Pinterest. Immodestly I threw in my own novel.



Click on the photo directly below to take a virtual tour of my ever expanding bookshelf.

What are some of your favorite books and where are your favorite places to read them?

THE PACT - short story (a really old one)

This is one of the first short stories I ever wrote. I'm posting it here for nostalgia as much as anything. Nostalgia about myself both as a young man and a young writer with much to learn. There's still much to learn about both writing and life. That's part of what makes the journeys so wonderful. Hope you enjoy The Pact, particularly those who vividly recall young love.

The Pact

By Roy L. Pickering Jr.

After three glorious months, it was over. He and Cheryl were history.

She had been perfect for him. If only they didn't argue so often. If only she didn't have such a short temper. They would still be together if she could just consider his point of view on occasion. Other than that, perfect.

Who needed her anyway? Why should he waste his time on a girl who couldn't accept an apology? And to make an apology was a concept unheard of by her. That would mean acknowledging that she was capable of being wrong.

He was better off without her. So what if she was beautiful beyond comparison? What did it matter how great she made him feel? Who cared that he had fallen in love for the first time in his life, and had sincerely believed it would last forever?

If she didn't realize what she was throwing away, she deserved to lose him. Eventually the folly of her choice would sink in. But by then it would be too late. There was no way he would go back to her, even if she begged.

As for the incredible aching in his heart, that would go away in time. He gave it an hour. In the meantime, he would hang out with his buddies in the student lounge.

There they were sitting in their usual spot, Ron's best friends in the world, met during freshman orientation but they may as well have been friends from childhood, so fast and tight was their bond. He would lay bare his soul to Mark, Ira and Denis. They would understand.

"You look like your dog just died," said Ira.

"Cheryl and I just broke up."

"That's too bad," said Mark.

"Sorry to hear it," Denis said.

"Hey, at least your dog is all right," said Ira, who believed humor was the remedy for all ailments.

"What happened?" asked Mark, after giving Ira a whack to the back of his head.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ron answered, which was a cue to start a forum on the matter.

"Were you the dumper or the dumpee?" asked Denis.

"The dumpee, I guess."

"Man that sucks," Mark said.

"She catch you with another girl or something?" asked Ira.

"Nah, nothing like that. I hardly know what happened. One minute we're arguing about the environment, the next minute I'm being offered my walking papers."

"Ain't that always the way," Ira said.

"What do you mean by that?" Mark asked. "How many girls have broken up with you because you didn't recycle?"

"I'm just saying that women come up with the weakest excuses to end a relationship for."

"I'll give you that one," said Denis.

"No doubt about it," agreed Ron.

"Amen", said Mark. "Take me and Cathleen for example. Everything was cool with us. Then one day out of the blue - BAM! She dumps me. She said we were getting too serious. What she didn't say, but didn't need to, was that she broke up with me because she was afraid to tell her parents she was dating a black guy."

"Well you are black," said Ron.

"No kidding. So are you, fool."

"No, what I am is brown. I'm caramel colored. You on the other hand, have a tan and a half."

"Haaaaa haaa haaaa!" came the high nasal sound that emanated from Ira's throat. Mark, Ron and Denis could not help but join in the laughter. Ira's laugh was extremely infectious, indescribable by words.

"You sound like a hyena with a flag pole stuck up its ass," said Mark.

Perhaps it could be described.

"You never said that was why you two broke up," said Denis.

"I didn't want to talk about it. It really hurt that she wasn’t willing to fight for me. I would have fought an army for her."

"Girls are messed up," professed Ira.

"Don’t I know it," Denis said. “Maria really threw me for a loop.”

"I thought you dumped her for Casey,” Ron said.

"Not exactly. You see, Maria and I had this ongoing argument. I wanted to have sex and she refused."

"No way," said Mark incredulously. "You weren't hitting that? I guess I didn’t have to be nearly as jealous as I was. That girl sure is fine."

"She's also one serious Catholic,” Denis said. “I tried my best to convince her that it would be worth the Hail Mary’s, but she wasn’t having it. She said she would feel too guilty to enjoy it. Guess it wasn’t important enough to her that I would have enjoyed it a whole helluva lot. We did just about everything else we could think up. But no sex. I tell you, it was driving me crazy. Every night I ended up standing under a cold shower. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. So I say to her if she really loved me like she said, she would show me. Otherwise, I didn't need to waste any more time."

"This story is a real heart breaker," said Ira with trademark sarcasm.

"I was just bluffing. I figured she was too crazy about me to let it end over something she was going to get around to eventually. But I was wrong."

"Somebody hand me a Kleenex. You pretty boys sure do have it rough."

Denis continued to ignore Ira. "Two weeks after we break up, she starts seeing a friend of mine. He even asked me if it was okay. I said sure. I know the guy pretty well. I figured he wouldn't put up with her Virgin Mary routine nearly as long as I did. But a couple months later they're still together. So I ask him how he can stand her Catholic virtue act for so long, and he says he didn't have to because they'd been doing it for awhile."

"No way," said Ron.

"Maybe he was lying," Mark offered.

"I know bull when I hear it. He was telling the truth."

"Ain't that always the way," said Ira. "Remember Sheri? I treated her like a goddess. Everything she wanted, I gave her. I made that girl the center of my universe. Every day I bought her a gift. Flowers, candy, teddy bears, jewelry, you name it."

"Let me guess the end of this," said Ron. "Your credit card reached its limit and she said bye-bye."

"You got the bye-bye part right. She said she didn't want to see me anymore, but it had nothing to do with me. She said she needed space. She needed to find herself. Will somebody please tell me what that means? Where do women come up with this stuff? Have any of you ever had to go looking for yourself?"

"A girl gave me that need for space crap once," said Mark. "It's their way of saying they're through with you. When a girl asks you for space, she intends to take the whole galaxy."

"If Sheri wanted to split, she should have said so in plain English. She’ll never find another guy who will treat her half as good as I did. It was her loss."

"And Maria's."

"And Cathleen's."

"And Cheryl's."

"They wait for you to fall head over heels, then walk all over you,” Ron said. “And like fools we keep coming back for more.”

"Yep."

"You got that right."

"Amen."

"But what choice do we have?" asked Denis. "They have what we want, what we can’t live without.”

"Maybe not indefinitely,” said Ron. “But we could, for how about, let's say a month."

"A month of what?" asked Mark.

"Of no sex?" asked Ira.

"How much sex did you have last month, Ira?” asked Denis. “Yeah, that's what I thought."

"But you never know what next month might bring."

"Maybe Ron is onto something," said Mark. I could handle a month of not having to deal with their nonsense. I’ve got five fingers to get me through the rough patches."

"It would be pretty rough going a whole month with no dates,” Denis admitted. “I wouldn’t mind saving the cash though. And with all the free time I’ll have, I could learn how to play guitar or something."

"I’m not just talking about taking girls to Red Lobster and hoping it gets you somewhere good,” said Ron, his idea taking shape in his mind, ready to be unveiled. "A total boycott. We don't talk to them except when absolutely necessary. And absolutely necessary doesn’t mean what it usually means, like to get a phone number. We ignore them completely. We focus on our needs and desires that come from north of the belt. For one month, women won't exist to us. And I’m betting we become better men because of it."

"How so?" asked Ira.

"The second we were born with something between our legs to grab hold of when bored, we became destined to do stupid things over women. But I say it’s possible, and more than that, imperative that we experience one brief period, just 30 days or so when we’re in full control of our destinies. One month of nobody nagging us into doing things we don’t want to do. Nobody controlling us with the threat of withholding sex. Nobody leading us blindly into ruin because we allow our senses to overwhelm our brains. Instead of selling our souls and pride for a pretty smile and a nice body, we'll hold on as misers do to money. Like priests and monks, we’ll aspire to something greater than ourselves. In order to do that, we need to keep ourselves pure. Remove what is most distracting to us and maybe we’ll be able to see the universe clearly, the way God intended. Not a lifetime. Not a year. We know our weaknesses and limitations. There’s no point in trying to deny them because they make us who we are. They make us men. But for just one month maybe we can be something better than men. What do you guys think?"

There was no doubt that Ron was a great persuader. He had demonstrated this ability on numerous occasions. But this was as passionate a plea as he had ever made due to the magnitude of the sacrifice he was asking for.

For a moment there was silence. Ron had set his bait and now waited to see if he would get a bite.

"I'm game."

"What can it hurt?"

"What the hell. Chicks get turned on when you ignore them."

"All right!" Ron exclaimed. The war against the fairer sex was on.

"The Knicks are looking pretty good so far," said Mark, bringing about an ardent discussion on sports. The four friends traded opinions and lighthearted insults with the ease that only young men can. As college students less than halfway through the collegiate journey they had received tastes of independence, yet their lives were still basically free of responsibility. They were at a point where everything was before them, the glass always half full, their grandest dreams still possibilities. Their solidarity was impenetrable. Past and future heartbreaks were a million miles away.

"Hi guys." The sweet sound floated through the air like a feather on a spring breeze that could have been directed anywhere but was improbably transported straight to them. A group of curvy coeds were seated across the room. They had room at their table and a wish for company.

Ron, Mark, Denis, and Ira looked at the temptresses. Then they looked at each other. The words of the agreement so recently made hung heavy in the air between them. The pact had united them in a single cause. They believed in what they had agreed to. They knew it would not be easy, that temptation would be waiting at every turn. They also realized that the first turn would be the trickiest to maneuver.

"Sorry, fellas," said Denis as he got up and headed over to the girls' table. He was trailed directly by Mark and Ira. Beauty has devastating effects on the most powerful of bonds.

Only Ron stood his ground. He was a man of principle, a man of his word, especially when the promise was one made to himself. He knew he would end up a better person if he stuck to his vow and refused to stumble as easily as his impetuous friends.

Ron walked out of the lounge. He was on his own now, a solitary traveler on a long and winding road.

"Hi, Ron."

He knew better than to turn around. His resolve needed time to cement. The thing to do was keep walking as if the siren song had not been heard. If he looked back into those eyes of hers, he was doomed.

Then again, only by facing Cheryl would he learn if he was strong enough to resist her, to go on without her. So he turned.

"I'm sorry," they said simultaneously.

No more words were needed. They sealed their apologies with a ravenous kiss. Amnesia of the past hour set instantly in Ron’s brain. The only thing that mattered was now.

After all, the flesh is weak and boys will always be boys.

My Book Reads of 2011

Follow this link for reviews of the following books: Play Like You Mean It (Rex Ryan); Freedom (Jonathan Franzen), Silver Sparrow (Tayari Jones); The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey (Walter Mosley); Hunting in Harlem (Mat Johnson)

Follow this link for reviews of the following books: Sag Harbor (Colson Whitehead), The Picture of Dorian Grey(Oscar Wilde); The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson); Middle Passage (Charles Johnson)

For reviews of my final two book reads of 2011, The Templar Salvation and John Henry Days, see below.

John Henry Days by Colson Whitehead - John Henry Days is written in an interesting narrative style. It shows us events through the lens of multiple characters, some repeatedly visited, others glimpsed just once or twice. A man named J. Sutter is the one most frequently observed, so I suppose he is technically the main character. But the true MC is a particular weekend in a particular town where an event possibly took place many years earlier, featuring a person who possibly existed. The event was a man defeating a machine at the feat of drilling a tunnel through mountain to allow the continuation of train tracks. The man of course, is John Henry. He is the stuff of legend regardless of whether he was ever one of flesh and blood, so a stamp has been created to commemorate him and a festival is taking place to mark the occasion. Colson Whitehead approaches this weekend from a wide variety of angles. Among the people involved in the build-up is a man researching the origins of a song written about John Henry, a man who collects railroad stamps, a woman who owns a hotel in the town where the festival is taking place, a man so obsessed with John Henry that he turned his home into a museum dedicated to him, that man's daughter, a journalist covering the events of the weekend, and John Henry himself. Hints are given throughout the book that just as the famous race ended in foretold tragedy, so will the commemoration. Whitehead has a beautiful way with words. If you're looking for a character driven novel where you'll deeply identify with and care for the protagonist, look elsewhere. If you're looking for a traditional beginning, middle, end style story rather than one which jumps back and forth in time and place, go find another book. But if you're interested in a distinctive approach to examination of a symbolic event, one that will be timely so long as people either resist, embrace, take advantage of, or become victims to the changes brought about by the march of progress, then I point you in the direction of John Henry Days. John took a last stand for human determination before it was replaced by mindless but more efficient machinery. Win or lose, his effort was in vain. He may as well have been battling death. We can postpone arrival of the Grim Reaper, but inevitably his date of arrival will be reached.

The Templar Salvation by Raymond Khoury - I love Knights Templar related historical fiction and enjoyed Raymond Khoury's prequel to this book. The Templar Salvation was entertaining as well, but I can't quite give it a ringing endorsement. It reads fast enough as the narrative is essentially one long chase scene. Technically it's two long chase scene, one taking place in the present and the other in the distant past. The smaller portion of this novel that takes place hundreds and hundreds of years ago is the "hide" portion of the plot. The more substantial modern portion is the "seek". What's being sought? Something biblical/mythical that will shatter the Christian faith and thus humanity, of course. I'm pretty sure that's what was being sought in the first book as well, not to mention some Dan Brown novels. Brown is the superior writer, or so I recall. Much of the prose in The Templar Salvation is borderline amateurish. Forget about exploration of emotions and character development, not that Khoury leaves this entirely out, but it's certainly not his strength. No, his strengths are deluging readers with ancient information in easily digestible fashion and writing action scenes with good guys pitted against bad guys in a deadly struggle, no less than the fate of the world riding on the outcome. I rounded down rather than up from 2-1/2 stars because perhaps I've read one too many novels in this genre. Or maybe I simply craved a better one.

YEAR OF THE UNWED BLACK WOMAN

The end of each year is marked by a wide variety of Top 10-20-100 lists. Also, inevitably, it is declared “the year of the _____”. Different groups fill in the blank with different declarations. There is no right or wrong answer. Every orbit of the Earth around the Sun features several prominent issues that can claim ownership of the retreating calendar. Like millions of others I spent a great deal of time in 2011, probably too much of it, on Twitter. A strong case can certainly be made for 2011 being the Year of Twitter. Or we can lump it in with FaceBook and other online venues and announce that 2011 was the Year of Social Media. Let others make that claim. This is my blog and based on casual observation, much of it done on Twitter, I’m announcing right here and now that 2011 was the Year of the Unwed Black Woman.

I an intrigued by race based themes and this year left me with no shortage of them to ponder. The election of Barack Obama has made the people of this country more obsessed over racial origin than ever. Instead of serving as proof that we have moved beyond race, it just made everyone more preoccupied about it. A majority of the people of this nation may be willing to pick a black man as their President if the alternative is sufficiently lame (Sarah Palin as running mate? Really?), but many are unable to examine situations without peering at them through the prism of racial identity. Every other week (give or take a day) a debate over use of the “N word” or what qualifies someone to be considered a “real black man” rather than a tan imposter came about.

Another blazing hot topic in 2011 was marriage. You’d think gay people would have dominated it with a good number of them allowed to legally marry for the first time. Plus we had a royal wedding this year, a fairy tale ending/beginning to gawk at in high definition. But on Twitter, or at least in my particular tweetstream, the topic that repeatedly emerged was not gay marriage or royal marriage or reality TV marriage. Instead, the subject constantly dissected and analyzed and bickered over was the marriage rate of straight African American women. Apparently the percentage of married black women is lower (at least in a certain age range) than it is for women of other races. Or at least it’s lower than that of white women, for after all, black people (at least on my tweetstream) don’t spend much time comparing themselves to Asians, Latinos, etc. It’s almost always a Black versus White issue, no matter what the issue may be.

Off Twitter and wandering about the real world, at least my version of reality which takes place mostly in New York City and northern New Jersey, I’m not seeing this epidemic of black women unable to find mates. I spy black women paired off all the time. My family is chock full of happily married black women. Perhaps my immediate environment is an aberration to the national trend. Surely all of those articles wouldn’t have been written, all of these doomsday statistics cited, if there wasn’t legitimate grievance to be aired. So despite what I’ve seen with my eyes I’ll nonetheless accept that black women are under-married. Now that we’re in agreement on the existence of the What, it’s time to examine the Why.

A few explanations jump out at me. The incarceration rate of black men is unnaturally high, taking too many qualified (by melanin) applicants out of contention. Black women on average are better educated than black men, considerably more likely to have a college degree and beyond, and understandably a good many of them do not wish to “marry down”. These two reasons are frequently mentioned by those who choose to examine the unmarried black woman phenomenon. A third reason perhaps less frequently given is that there are more single black mothers than single white mothers, more black babies born out of wedlock. Since a woman with one or more kids from a previous relationship is often not at the top of a man’s wish list when deciding on a mate, this would lower marriage odds for black women overall.

Each of these explanations is measurable, quantifiable, and fairly sensible. But since the topic is an emotional one, many of the studies and articles do not focus on hard evidence. Instead they target reasons that are a tad more subjective, circumstantial evidence leading to proclamations such as “black men are dogs” or “black men want white women much more than black women”. I won’t bother to delve into the canine character assassination, but will remark on interracial relationships being a root cause. It is true that due to social progress in this country, blacks and whites are much more likely than a few decades ago to have friendly rather than contentious relationships, with some of them being romantic in nature. So yes, more black men are married to white women today than in 1961. More white men are married to black women than in 1961 as well, so this is not a shift that leaves black women totally out of the equation. Do more black men marry white women than white men marry black women? I suppose the answer is yes since several of the unmarried black woman exposés focus on why they should consider giving white men a shot as solution, or else on why they most certainly should not break the dating color barrier. Still, I doubt the disparity is so dramatic as to be the primary explanation for 2011 being The Year of the Unwed Black Woman. The number of white women who never went black or else did but eventually went back dwarfs the number who are determined to pilfer from the insufficiently robust “good black men” pool. Kim Kardashian, who supplied America’s pathetic response to the bash at Buckingham Palace with the second “royal wedding” of 2011, is not a symbol for why black men have forsaken black women. She’s just someone who has improbably stretched her 15 minutes of fame to nearly an hour now, dating a few brothas in the process.

I’m going to stick with the reasons that are backed up by numbers in my thesis, based on facts rather than opinion, even if facts can be malleable when expertly manipulated. Fortunately for unwed black women who wish to exit the demographic, these explanations which are based on data rather than generic finger pointing need not be set in stone. If each situation improved by just 10% the alleged shortage of married black women would probably cease to exist. Ten percent fewer black men in prison, ten percent more black men with college diplomas and the better jobs this leads to, ten percent fewer black children born into single parent households. The first scenario would certainly be a positive thing, so would the second, and some fairly strong arguments can be made that children are better off entering a family with two parents waiting for them. I personally don’t think it significantly matters if the two parents are the same ethnicity, or different genders, or if they’d go to unequal lengths in pursuit of a Klondike bar. Bottom line, math says that two are greater than one, and when it comes to parenting, two are often more effective than one.

With these three situations each altered by ten percent it would probably be viewed as less damning by those who take offense that some black men marry women of other races (not because they absurdly hate all black women but simply because they fell in love with someone who was not one). As for some black men being intent on making babies and breaking hearts with minimal interest in being responsible for the devastation left in their wake, not much to be done about that. Like cockroaches, jerks of all races aren’t going anywhere any time soon. Some situations simply can’t be altered, and practically none of them can be complained away.

Regardless of whether these 10% shifts happen (probably will not occur over the course of the next twelve months), my hope is that talk of the infamous unwed black woman is receding in our rear view mirror. Surely another topic deserves a turn in the rotation, perhaps one that completely lacks a racial component. Now how radically postracial would that be?! My fingers are crossed that 2012 will be The Year of Something Else. Just about anything else will do.


THE UNMARRIABLES?  OH MY!

Here's another option!

OPEN LETTER TO THOSE WHO PENNED OPEN LETTERS

Earlier this week Gene Marks, who by all appearances happens to be a middle age white man, wrote a piece for Forbes called 'If I Was A Poor Black Kid'. Problematic title of course. I wonder if it was his choice or the magazine's. The article amounts to a list of suggestions that might be employed by a disadvantaged youth of color to improve his or her circumstances. Some of them were so blatantly obvious and commonly stated that you wonder why Marks bothered to repeat them. Stay in school and study hard. Computer literacy is a good thing. However, since many poor black kids (think I'll shorten to PBK going forward) do not focus and excel in computer class or anywhere else in school, no harm in reminding. A couple of his tips were a little less obvious, possibly even helpful to a MOTIVATED PBK who might stumble upon the article. "Motivated" is capitalized for a reason. The primary curse of poverty is that it squelches motivation to rise above.


The ensuing ridicule heaped upon Mr. Marks (complete with at least one Twitter hashtag for guidance) was swift and relentless. Critics showed their disdain with a few quickly dashed sentences of mockery for starters, then set off to write fully fleshed out responses. I won't name drop them as I've done with Marks, but chances are you've either seen a published rebuttal or else a Google search will lead you to one in an instant.


The annoyance and derision inspired by Marks' article was basically on account of the messenger, even if writers claimed it was the message that got under their skin. How dare a PRIVILEGED (capitalized because it's the curse word du jour) white man dispense advice from his ivory tower to the darker, huddled masses? He isn't one of them, never was, never will be, so he may as well be the teacher talking to Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang - Blah blah blah.


No one who felt compelled to answer the Forbes article with one of their own seemed to think that perhaps Marks' heart was in the right place, even if the anatomical result looked more like his foot in his mouth. The rebuttals weren't about providing alternative suggestions, superior recommendations. They weren't about disproving the point that if you find yourself in the worst school, striving to be the best at the worst may give you a fighting chance. Marks grossly under-evaluated a major societal woe and proposed simplistic solutions. But in attacking him, his detractors did not remedy a thing. They merely seized upon an opportunity to make fun and proclaim "how dare you". The rebuttals were much hipper and far funnier than the original piece, so laughs and declarations of agreement were achieved. But not a single PBK's life was potentially improved as result. They remain firmly rooted in their role of political football as we approach the next big election year.


Who is it that actually does have the ear of poor black kids? Hip hop artists for starters. The vast majority of them are not conveying messages that will aid in turning a life around. A very strong argument can be made that certain rap lyrics and videos help perpetuate the mindset of valuing flashy style over substance, leading to a dead end. Yet when the next catchy tune comes out that's all about getting high, degrading women, making a quick buck to throw away on status symbols, there will be few complaints and probably no Open Letters imploring rappers to teach our children well. No, such ire is reserved for a white guy who has poked his nose where it doesn't belong. Apparently you have to prove you're cool enough to give a damn about PBK's, but ironically, if you are deemed cool enough you're given a pass and don't have to care.


Here are some of my suggestions, not for poor black kids but for anyone who legitimately cares to lend them a helping hand. Join a Big Brother/Sister mentoring program. Become a foster or adoptive parent. Donate money and/or time (time is always the best donation) to an organization that provides food/books/shelter/guidance to those in need of any or all of the above. Be a role model in both word and deed, not merely a dime-a-dozen snark generator. If you're really ambitious, consider running for president. Barack Obama has surely convinced a few underprivileged kids that contrary to what Newt Gingrich thinks, their future can hold more in store for them than a janitorial gig. Not that there's anything wrong with being a janitor, although it pays substantially less than windbag historian. Even the punchline that is Herman Cain sets an example of achievement. Go to an inner city school where you're sure to meet plenty of PBK's in the flesh and won't have to think of them conceptually, and if you have nothing wise or useful to say, simply listen to what they have to tell you. Last of all, focus a little less on being clever, a little more on being kind.


Below is the advice I gave to Mr. Marks on Twitter in response to his article. I don't think he follows me so if he follows you, please forward. Thanks!

So I just read the article If I Was a Poor Black Kid that has Twitter abuzz - http://www.forbes.com/sites/quickerbettertech/2011/12/12/if-i-was-a-poor-black-kid/

The article was written by @genemarks for Forbes. With a title like that you're just asking to be mocked. Many won't even go past title.

I tried to read it with an open mind. I also forgave him in advance for sins he is not at all alone in committing. Like the dumb title.

Pretty much every day I see some blog posting with a provocative title & people responding more to the title than the piece itself. I'm not a big fan of that. Focus on making the full piece provocative, not just its entrance point. People will be more likely to read attentively.

The article is a list of things this guy says he would do to make his life so much better as an adult had he started out a poor black kid. None of the items listed is offensive. None of it is illuminating. It's just a list that makes a couple points a poor kid of any race might want to jot down.

The author makes no actual attempt to imagine what poverty feels like, what being disenfranchised feels like, what lacking hope feels like.

The article didn't offend me because I don't think it was mean spirited. Points that were valid for some people were made. Easy enough to do.

Of course you can pull yourselves up by your bootstraps if properly motivated. Odds of that motivation being found in a Forbes article of all places are slim. Not exactly reaching the demographic you’re writing about. When you’re talking about people under the guise of talking to them, you’re doing little more that theorizing amongst your friends.

If you grow up poor in a loving household where better days are planned & hoped for you, chances are decent you'll get there.

If you grow up thinking nobody really gives a shit about you, one parent missing physically & the other going through motions while fighting their demons, life will be hard.

Instead of writing an article about what poor black kids should or should not do, do something tangible to help them reach their potential.

Once you're done actually dealing with a situation, getting your hands dirty instead of moralizing from high horse, THEN write your article.

You don't know what you'd do if you were anybody but yourself. If you could be in a different skin, you'd be a different you.

Eat, Drink, Read and Be Merry

I hope this posting finds everyone who sees it with a great deal to be grateful for. Downs are unavoidable, but with any luck you've had your fair share of Ups to counter them with this year. I certainly have. Hopefully a great feast awaits you on Thanksgiving day. I'm especially blessed because there's nothing quite like my mom's home cooking, although my wife (see up top for a sample of her artwork that can be found on Etsy) is no culinary slouch either. I can't wait to be at the dining table of the house I grew up in, surrounded by family and love, fully prepared to get my grub on.

As the season of thankfulness and giving arrives, my goal each year is to be more generous than I was the year before. I'm not volunteering at a soup kitchen or anything similarly noble for the holidays, but I thought it would be nice to do a little something about the hits on wallets during these economically challenging times. After all, Thanksgiving is not only about expressing gratitude but also the starter pistol for Christmas shopping frenzy. So I've decided to roll Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday all into one, plus I'm adding GREY SUNDAY to the mix. This means that autographed copies of the print edition of Patches of Grey purchased directly from me via PayPal (see details at RoyPickering.net) will be on sale 11/25 - 11/28 for only $8.99, saving you a few bucks from the cost at Amazon or elsewhere. If you read off an electronic device rather than paper, I will not be discounting the Nook or Kindle edition price. Considering that the latter is only 99 cents, I trust paying full price for it won't be a hardship. Nothing aids digestion better than a good book (with a glass of ginger ale), so be sure to eat, drink, read and be merry.

p.s. - When you have a minute or two, perhaps between main course and dessert, please check out my 5-question interview with Joey Pinkney.