For Father's Day

The uphill battle to be a decent dad is largely what my debut novel is about.  And it's a prominent theme of my second one as well. If you're lucky enough to have a good father, or perhaps like myself are blessed to have a great one, I know he'll appreciate a bit of recognition on the third Sunday of June (or any other day of the year).  If you're trying to be the best father you can be, such as I am (photo of me and my little angel appears here), then you know it's hard work and the very best job there is.  I did my best to capture the majesty of fatherhood via pictures I found for this post.  Pretty sure I found one or two that will make some of you smile.

Everyday is Father's Day 🙏🏿 pic.twitter.com/0Hh6wq4zXs

— WS (@wesleysnipes) January 5, 2018

Stuck on what to get your dad for Father's Day?  He can always use more pairs of socks, but you can probably do better than that.  How about a good book?  Patches of Grey, perhaps?  Matters of Convenience, maybe. Or go nuts and double up!



Patches Of Grey by Roy L. Pickering Jr.
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"Pickering's style is fluid and crisp. There's a certain clarity to the prose that's considered and well judged - just enough to paint the picture and more than enough to drive along the narrative." - Khome (UnheardWords.com)

Named a 2012 B.R.A.G. Medallion™ Honoree

Synopsis: Tony Johnson is a studious young man planning to soon graduate from much more than high school. Although his zip code places him in a Bronx tenement pre "rise of Obama", his sights are set far beyond the trappings of his humble upbringing. Collegiate dreams and falling in love with a white classmate put him strongly at odds with his father. His brother C.J.'s rebellious ways endanger his life on gang ruled streets and the chastity of their sister Tanya is clearly approaching its demise. But it is Tony who incurs the majority of Lionel Johnson's wrath for the sins of ambition, exhibiting color blind love by daring to be with Janet Mitchell, and refusing to bend to his father's will. Seeing unrealized goals reincarnated in the eyes of his eldest son harshly remind Lionel of what once could have been, and of what went wrong. His own childhood in a segregated southern town established a bitter, prejudiced outlook that is the only legacy he has to pass down to his children. When his job and role as primary breadwinner are lost, Lionel's authority quickly erodes and he drowns his disappointment one drink at a time. This affords Tony, who lacks the seemingly servile patience of his mother, an opportunity to assert independence rather than allowing his fate to be set by chance and circumstance. But throughout the course of Roy Pickering's engrossing debut novel, Tony comes to learn that the world is not as black and white as he and his father's opposing mindsets would suggest.

Available in print at Amazon: http://amzn.to/dAcK4j

And Kindle edition: http://tinyurl.com/ydoamc3

At Mahogany Books: http://bit.ly/fbUVcM

At Independent Author Index: http://indaindex.com/patches-of-grey-...

Or direct from the author, at a discount rate if multiple copies are being purchased for a book club, at http://www.roypickering.net


FaceBook page: http://on.fb.me/eJphth


Top Ten Quotes from Patches of Grey - http://www.quotationsdiary.com/indie-...


Review by RawSistaz Reviewers - http://ow.ly/15Umwx


Review at AlvahsBooks.com by Randall Radic - http://www.alvahsbooks.com/?p=417


Review by five bourough book review - http://fiveboroughbooks.blogspot.com/...

Review by Good Books and Wine - http://bit.ly/eOTF4Y


Review by John Paterson:

Patches of Grey is a story in the tradition of the “coming of age” literature (think SE Hinton, or Catcher in the Rye) in an urban African American setting. Roy Pickering captures the angst of boys becoming men with the added complexity of race permeating events and the environment.

The author does a remarkable job illustrating the internal dialogue and conflict all teenagers face as they struggle for identity, but from the perspective of a young black man. The gift is his ability to translate this conversation to a wider audience, to identify both common ground (girls, fathers, social strata) and also present differences that make one appreciate how race, culture, and familial relationships are perceived differently in different groups: e.g., the conflict between being “all you can be,” and being loyal to the group.

The domestic violence was jarring, as was the relativity. Things weren’t “good” or “bad,” but “better than” or “worse than.” Is having an abusive father/husband (who cares for his family) better than having no father around at all? At least he’s not as bad as . . .

It’s a world in which nothing is taken for granted, and nobody can really afford to be easy going. Seeming cool even carries a certain intense, deliberate and intentional quality. There is love, but very little is given – at home or to others -- freely, generously, or without conditions. It’s a lot of work, with a lot of stress hanging in the general atmosphere.

On the other hand, there is a core element of pride, strength, survival – and dare I say – hope and change to the story. Nobody is a naïve fool, or sucker. They are smart and strong characters who may not have started with a lot of advantages, but can take anything. There is “something” in them that will live on forever no matter what changes.

I agree with others who’ve said this should be on the Junior High/High School reading list. (May have to edit some parts?) I think it could be so meaningful, and even change lives, with young readers at that point.

In reading the book I found myself thinking that I really hope the author has son(s), coaches, mentors, and/or is in big brother program. It would be great for the world.
* * *

In addition to Patches of Grey, Roy Pickering is the author of the novella - Feeding the Squirrels
http://www.synergebooks.com/ebook_fee...

Currently Roy is at work on a second novel, Matters of Convenience, from which an excerpt can be found at his blog: http://lineaday.blogspot.com/2009/04/...

View all my reviews

Hashtag

I try to judge people (since we absolutely must judge others, right?) based on what they do rather than what they say in a handful of characters, and certainly not based on what they hashtag.  You say you're a civil rights activist...a feminist...a humanitarian (seems like that last one should incorporate the first two, no?), I say cool.  But the proof is in the pudding.  Your actions will prove or disprove it, and they will indicate the things that you are for to a greater extent than telling me what you're against.  I'll instinctively assume you're against civil wrongs, misogyny and space alien invasion.

But since I spend FAR TOO MUCH time on Twitter, activism by hashtag is what I see plenty of these days.  I'm not against the principle exactly.  For the most part it does no harm even if often does no tangible good either.  A hashtag can raise awareness of a cause.  Fine, we're aware, what now?  I ask only two things of a hashtag to consider it constructive. 1) That it not be created to blanket insult a broad group of people which includes many individuals undeserving of the insult. 2) That the name of it accurately conveys the message.  Be specific. If you want to create a hashtag about basketball don't name it #sports #sportsinvolvingaball #thingsthatmakeyousweat.  Call it #basketball.

Recently a hashtag that caught on like wildfire was #YesAllWomen.  As this article neatly summarizes, the hashtag’s purpose was to "raise awareness of the effect of misogyny and sexism in the daily life of women". So far so good.  The article goes on to shoot down any complaints men might opt to voice about the hashtag.  It lists some reasonable complaints, some less reasonable ones, and a handful of ridiculous explanations for why men might be troubled by the tone of the more outlandish proclamations.  The goofy ones are good for a laugh but not in need of addressing. But is it fair to say that a man who walks the walk of feminism by being a good husband/father/colleague/person who is a respectful friend to women, nevertheless does not qualify as an ally to the cause because he thinks many of the statements made within the #YesAllWomen hashtag go too far and paint with too broad a stroke?

Not long ago a discussion broke out on Twitter about what women happened to be wearing when they were sexually assaulted.  It was a powerful social media moment, I thought.  A hashtag was probably used for it, though I don't recall what it was.  What I do remember is the point explicitly made that rape has nothing to do with how provocatively the victim was dressed or behaving.  The only requirements for a rape to take place are the presence of a rapist and a victim.  What beyond that causes rape?  I honestly don't know. I only know that rape isn't something men do.  It's something rapists do.  There is a world of difference between the two.  I found the discussion that evening to be an effective use of social media to confront ugly truths, even it if did devolve a bit towards the end with arguments breaking out over which journalists remarked on the group conversation properly and which did not.  No reasonable person felt insulted by the exchange.  Anybody who disagreed with the central argument and believes that certain outfits cause and justify rape is a monster best to be avoided.  The stories told that night were heart breaking and eye opening.

On the other hand, when awareness raising results in people cyber yelling at each other, all sides claiming to have been misunderstood, then I'm less inclined to declare that it was a complete success.  If you need to continually clarify what your point was, repeatedly explain what it is you didn't mean because you sure as hell seem to have implied it, then in my opinion a teachable moment has gone awry.  I don't believe the purpose of #YesAllWomen is to alienate those men about whom the complaints are not applicable and in whose direction the bile is not pointed. I get that #AllMen are not the target of ire.  Still, a fair number of men (such as this one who I believe makes several valid points despite a rather weak door opening anecdote) felt that they were unfairly hit in the crossfire.  They weren't looking for credit or acknowledgment as "nice guys".  They weren't asking for a trophy because they don't habitually view and treat women like pieces of meat.  They (and I include myself among them) simply felt that things had gotten out of hand and rather than being instructive and cathartic, the hashtag had become a runaway ball of negativity that didn't care who it ran over.  "Watch out grandpa!!!"  If a substantial number of people feel a hashtag went overboard, perhaps this is something to respectfully contemplate rather than being dismissive.  When I see someone comfortable with being insulted I wonder about their motivation.  Does he not want to make trouble by standing up for himself, or is his silence admission of a guilty conscience?

It ultimately comes down to the individuals jumping on board a movement rather than the hashtag itself. For any given tag there are those with legitimate commentary to share and those who see it as an opportunity to randomly bash based on gender/race/whatever. It's hard to filter one group out from the other when they are lumped together. But for good and not so good, that's precisely what a hashtag does.  That is the very intent.  A hashtag mashes voices together, makes no distinctions between the articulate and the incomprehensible, the compassionate and the bitterly furious, the fair minded and the stereotype promoters, the well meaning teachers and the blindly hurtful. There is no fix for this that I can think of other than what I started out with.  Judge individuals on a case by case basis.  Distinguish between those you loathe and those you love.  Even in the social media era, at root I believe most of us want to like each other.  I believe we can play nicely, and when a topic of disagreement is landed upon, manage to disagree in an agreeable manner. We can speak the truth without resorting to general slander.

I agree with this article that #YesAllWomen matters, just as I feel #BringBackOurGirls matters, and other movements carried out online as well. That doesn't mean everyone is deploying #YesAllWomen correctly and effectively, or that those who have something to say to the contrary don't deserve to be heard.  No conversation can take place when we tune each other out, nothing new can be learned.

Bottom line: If a man insults or degrades you, he isn't worthy of your respect. On the other hand, if a man feels insulted or degraded by you because you lumped him in with rapists and street harassers and guys with the bare minimum of home training, maybe he has earned the right by a lifetime of respectful attitude and actions to feel offended.  He'll probably get over it though, just in time for the next hashtag to drop.

Books I've Read

Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Extraordinary. We are in the presence of greatness with this author who has only just begun her journey. I could say more, so much more, but instead will end with what reviews of all truly great novels must state. READ THIS BOOK.

View all my reviews


Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I suspect that the film adaptation, which I look forward to seeing after keeping a promise to myself to read the book first, will be more melodramatic and pull on heartstrings to greater effect and purpose than Solomon Northup's telling of his life story. Northup writes in somewhat stilted prose, his style academic rather than evocative like great novels or movies. He is not trying to draw out our tears. He is not attempting with every stroke of the pen to stir up emotions. Northup is simply telling us like it was - straight no chaser. No need to exaggerate the brutality or the tragedy, no reason to willfully demonize people whose monstrous acts and barbaric attitudes speak for themselves. Is the reader outraged, astounded that people could casually treat others in such a manner? Only if the reader has a soul. Northup doesn't use his words to move us the way his violin playing moved people. He is both impartial reporter and the subject of his piece of journalism. He doesn't ask us to feel sorry for him, or to hate his oppressors. What he does is recount what it was like for a man to suddenly find himself in bondage and servitude, endure it for over a decade, and then miraculously find himself free again with a most amazing and devastating tale to tell. He tells the truth in as unbiased a manner as possible and allows us judge it for ourselves. How did any man ever convince himself that it was okay to treat another this way? How did they ignore the humanity they surely saw in the brethren they stole from another continent? How was a single one of them able to look in a mirror? Twelve Years a Slave asks these questions but is unable to answer them, nor does it bother to try. Nothing can adequately answer them. The mystery of such heartlessness has not revealed itself over a couple hundred years. This is what our country was founded on, inalienable rights unevenly dispersed with extreme prejudice. This is what we need to atone for and move forward from. This is the stain that will never fade. Yet quite tellingly, those 12 years are not what made Solomon the extraordinary man that he was. Those 12 years happened to him but did not become him. Otherwise he probably would not have been able to write his book. The past brought us to this present, but it need not define any of us. In even the most suffocating circumstances, we have the freedom to do that for ourselves.


View all my reviews Inferno by Dan Brown
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I always have at least one brain candy author in my stable. Once upon a time it was Sidney Sheldon. Currently it's Dan Brown. He probably peaked with The Da Vinci Code. All I ask of his other books is that they come reasonably close to that level of addictive page turn-ability. More or less they have, and Inferno was no exception. It ended on more of a fizzle than a bang in my opinion, but the pace towards which Brown's prose raced to the conclusion was as swift as usual. I'm a fan of all things Dante and Paradise Lost (particularly Inferno) related in general, so I picked this book up as soon as I saw it on the library shelf. Now that it has been put back down I'll probably pick up something more substantive to chew on for my next read.


View all my reviews Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The fourth grade nothing's brother Fudge is the clear star of the book, with his older brother being the title character who primarily serves as frustrated narrator. The antics of little Fudge were quite amusing to my daughter. I might have given this book a 5-star review had the (spoiler alert) death of a pet at the end of the story not upset her so much.


 

View all my reviews Flora and Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures by Kate DiCamillo
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I liked but didn't love this book. My wife and daughter had an even less favorable opinion. That has a lot to do with the fact that we were holding it up against other books by none other than Kate DiCamillo who holds a place of honor in our household. Since this was her latest to win the big prize we figured it would be loved just as much as Winn Dixie and Despereaux. Alas, this was not to be. I don't want to discourage others from reading it though. Kate DiCamillo on her worst day is superior to most other children's book writers on their best. So pick this one up and you may like or even love it, particularly if you're a big fan of quirky, and/or of squirrels. But in my house Flora and Ulysses needs to move towards the end of the end behind other DiCamillo classics.


View all my reviews The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle by Christopher Healy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this even more than the first installment, as did my daughter. The Princesses are much more involved in the story this time around. Emphasis continues to be on action, but there are budding romantic story lines as well. Will each Prince and Princess end up with who the fairy tales tell us is their destined soul mate, or will they claim for themselves who they are best suited to be with? The open end of this edition left the door wide open for installment #3 which has been purchased and is waiting patiently to be read.

View all my reviews

Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It isn't often that you come across a children's book where the author really doesn't pander at all. Harriet is not written as a character. That is, she is not a collection of traits and quirks that readers are sure to find endearing and will transfer nicely to subsequent volumes of a series. Harriet the Spy is a novel that happens to feature a child as lead character, such as To Kill a Mockingbird can be described. Fitzhugh doesn't go to places as dark as Harper Lee did, or Salinger, so Harriet the Spy is categorized as children's literature rather than a book one might recommend to adults. But an adult, particularly parents, will enjoy it because they know that kids along with being adorable can be real pains in the ass. They can be selfish. They can be bratty. They can be unreasonable. They can be cruel. In short, they can be a lot like immature adults. Being young, they will have more difficulty coping with a traumatic event like the sudden departure of a loved one than an adult. Not enough life wisdom and experience with disappointment has been amassed yet. A child is more likely to respond by acting out, magnifying their less endearing qualities. Kids start out being quite imaginative but this trait dulls over time until a great many end up as adults who have virtually no imagination. Often imagination is rekindled upon becoming a parent and revisiting that part of one's personality. But a few fortunate people (those who end up becoming writers and other types of artists, for example) retain the ability to sculpt universes with their minds. Harriet is an 11 year old with her powers of imagination still strongly intact even though she's reaching an age where more serious things are supposed to be of concern. That imagination is enhanced by power of observation. She is curious about everything and everyone, and she documents all that she sees and feels in an attempt to figure the world out. She is a spy of the human condition, which is just another way of saying that she's a writer. Since she writes unflinchingly about what and who she knows, this gets her in trouble when her beloved notebook falls into the hands of her peers. She is ostracized. Even her two closest friends abandon her. Rather than dealing with this in a cutesy manner that you would expect to find in a children's book, she responds with rage and indignation. If everyone is going to hate her, she may as well truly earn their disdain. But she's neither villain nor hero, just a girl who wants to understand and maybe also be understood, and who doesn't plan to change for anyone because she likes herself just fine. Kids will relate to Harriet. To them reading this book will be like looking into a mirror and discovering that their fears and insecurities and concerns are not so unique after all. They are what growing up is all about, unequal parts of wonder, delight, heartache and triumph. Harriet is a book character you'll remember because she feels like a flesh and blood person who has figured out at an early age not to try to be like everyone else or to be liked by everyone, and has learned that honesty can sometimes be a complex policy. She discovers as the best of us do that it makes the most sense to be yourself (even if that isn't always a particularly simple thing to do) and with any luck things will work out just fine.

View all my reviews

Not too late to start caring - #bringbackourgirls

The name of Lupita Nyong'o has been all over the place for the past several months, beginning with the warranted Oscar buzz for her performance in 12 Years a Slave.  She went on to win the gold man trophy, but the continuous talk about Lupita has not been about her acting so much as her existence.  Why?  She has dark skin and short "natural hair".  Therefore she isn't supposed to be seen as beautiful and glamorous.  Not according to the standards set in place by Hollywoodland anyway.  At most, we're supposed to view Lupita as exotic.  Yet we have been inundated with photographs of her, each blatantly indicating that she is in fact quite beautiful and glamorous.  And if anyone dares to say different, Lupita's quickly loyal fan base will defend her with ferocity. I agree with everyone that she was excellent in Twelve Years a Slave (my review of the book).  As for her not only being talented but also beautiful and glamorous, I don't need anybody to inform me of that, not even official recognition by People Magazine.  I have eyes that clearly see it to be so.  And I'm not the least bit surprised that a dark skin African or African American woman is gorgeous, though I do recognize that Hollywood and entertainment media has been VERY SLOW to properly acknowledge, so I get why many are protective of Lupita's image.  

Still, I tend not to dwell for long on what I consider to be obvious.  Therefore I'm done reflecting on the beauty of Lupita and these few words are the closest I'll come to writing a think piece about what her presence means and why her success is valuable and necessary.  Rather than one of many praising Lupita, I choose to be one of the not nearly enough talking about those African girls.  Over 200 of them.  High School age (16-18).  Kidnapped.  Gone without a trace.  Non entertainment media is currently obsessed with a missing plane and a sunken ferry, so no doubt you already know about those matters.  But perhaps you didn't know until now about the Nigerian girls.  If so, see all that is below.  Watch the video, read the articles I've linked to, and then pray for their souls and safe return.  While you're at it, though I don't hold much stock in hastivism, use the #bringbackourgirls hashtag and sign the Change.Org petition.  Stir up awareness.  Maybe it will make a difference.  It certainly can't hurt.  Those girls may not be movie stars or gracing magazine covers but I have no doubt that each and every one of them is beautiful.


230 Girls Abducted In Nigeria Still Missing

Why doesn't anybody care?

Boko Haram has claimed responsibility for the kidnapping.  Who are Nigeria's Boko Haram Islamists?

We need to keep the pressure on

Change.Org Petition

The time to start giving a damn about the atrocities Boko Haram is responsible for has arrived

I Love Memes

So when I discovered a meme generator it was a match made in Heaven. Time is better served reading, or better yet, writing.  And I'm getting right back to that.  I just needed to create and post a few of these first.

                             

                               

                                     

I end this barrage of memes with one I did not create.  It was found on Pinterest and is being included because it sums this post up perfectly.

When all the involved calculations prove false, and the philosophers themselves have nothing more to tell us, it is excusable to turn to the random twitter of birds, or toward the distant mechanism of the stars.  - Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar